DADDY!
by Jodeh
Summary: OK, I suck at summaries, most of u know that by now... meh, enjoy!
1. Beginning

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**Meeeeeh... my friend SandrileneFaToren13 gave me the idea for this story! lol, title is strange... either way, the main characters name is Uke!(Don't ask) Anyways... READ ON!**

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Lot's of 14 year-olds and up hate their parents, I hate mine like there's no tommorrow. They abondoned me at some daycare when I was _six. _The daycare person brought me to a foster home. When I turned 12, I found this abondoned house that was HUGE. I now live in it. I got it up and running after 3 months(And a LOT of fake crying). I have short, orange hair, the body of an 11-year-old boy(other than the chest area), exactly 5 feet tall, and dark green eyes. My names Uke. No last name, just Uke(I named myself... -_- well I don't have parents to tell me my name now do I?)...

Anyways, I was walking home on my last day of school in the hot sun. I had the strangest feeling I was being followed, but everytime I looked back, eiher nothing was there, or it was just some small animal... I enter my house and pause in the doorway. Looking around the room for a split second, I run around the house turning on everything that made noise. Blenders, the shower, alarms, the TV. I turn to the WII and set up Rockband on 2 players, hook up the microphone and gutair and choose the song Toxic by Blowsight. I have many songs on Rockband because I learned how to hack it and add my own music to it... I have a lot of time on my hands... -_-.  
Anyways, I rocked out on the gutair and sang into the microphone with different songs until the power blew out. I wasn't surprised, this happens once or twice a week. I just put away my stuff and went around the house clicking everything into off. I go to the couch and lay down, as my ears ring from the loudness changed suddenly to silence. The sunsets, and I fall asleep. Dreaming of blurry figures that were vaugly familiar...**  
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	2. Eh?

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**Meeeeeh... my friend SandrileneFaToren13 gave me the idea for this story! lol, title is strange... either way, the main characters name is Uke!(Don't ask) Anyways... READ ON! ...lol**

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_THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!_

My eyes flutter open and glance at the clock.

"3 in the morning..." I mumble.

_CRASH!_

I shoot up and scan the room. ONly managing to see a few dark blotches. Another crash.

"You guys just can't be quiet can you?" A voice asks.

"..."

I grab the fruit basket and tip-toe to the source of the crash: The Kitchen. I peek in and see a large group of figures(people). I hold my breath and throw an orange at the red head, then run and hide behind the living room couch. I peek over the edge and see 3 people(I presume...and hope) standing by the archway. I throw 2 apples and a cantolope at them, then run and hide on the side of the fireplace, holding my final piece of ammo: A tomato.  
With a crash of lightning, I see 3 more people. I'm sure they saw me. I throw the omato and grab the fire-poker, running across the room. I stop by the powerbox and start messing with it till the livingroom lights flicker on.

"H...Holy Crap..." I catch my breath. "Who're you?"

I don't get my answer, I get a bomb thrown at my head. I scream and duck down. When I sit up, the wall behind me has a large hole in it. I'm suddenly tied up, a bunch of swords pointing at me. I stare confusedly, then sway back and forth. One sword stabs me, also cutting the rope tying me.

I hear a voice, "...She's breaking through the genjitsu..."  
I move around more randomly until I hear a satisfying rip and I fall down to the ground. With another crash of lightning, I'm back in my livingroom. People surrond me, watching me curiously. My eyes widen and I scream bloody murder with a shocking realization.

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**What will happen next? WHy is this story called daddy? Who did I scream at? Will I survive? Find out all this and MORE next time!**


	3. Hidan ball

RECAP: Not much, I just had a shocking realization that I'm sure everyone saw coming... lol... anyways: READ ON!

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I catch my breath(again) and stare in silence. In front of me was THE akatsuki. Not some god forsaken cosplayers sneaking into my house, THE Akatsuki! I stand up gaining my confidence back and glare at them all, challenging them. My fire poker in hand I hold my breath. An orange flash comes flying at me, I thought it was another bomb. I scream and swing the poker and hear a sickening crack. I freeze, the weapon drops from my hands. I look down at Tobi.

"T...Tobi?" I ask uneasily. Blood pours from somewhere on his head. I sit on my knees next to him, "Tobi?" I say in a small voice. I roll him over and see the blood is coming from the top of his head. I look up to the others for help, I get none. I sigh heavily and grab the first aid kit and wrap up Tobi's head(rather badly at that). Then I get the phone and dial the hospital.

"Hello, yes? i was wondering... my "friend" got knocked out by a fire poker and now his head is bleeding, is there something speacial I should do? ...other than call the hospital?"

"Well, yes." The lady answers. "Stop the bleeding, elevate him, he should be somewhat fine when he wakes up... if not, you know what to do."

"OK, thanks I guess..." I hang up the phine and sit Tobi up. "Humph, he'll be fine... hes a god forsaken ninja..." I turn to the remaining Akatsuki members supisiously and confused. "The hell are you guys doing here?"

"We thought the house was empty." Konan answers glancing at Pein.

"That is NOT what I mean."

"Then what the hell do you mean?" Hidan cuts in.

"I MEAN: What the hell are you doing in my world! Aren't you like cartoon characters!"

"...We're far from that, hon." Konan rolls her eyes.

"Well..." I sit there stunned and in awe. "How'd you get here in the first place!"

"Our portal broke down here during our travels. Now we're stuck here until it's fixed."

"Well...where is it?"

"Your garage." Sasori pipes in boredly.

"Well..." I start.

"If you say well one more time!" Hidan cuts me off. I glare at him, "Well, well, well. There, I said it 3 times. Now go burn in hell!"

"Quit fighting. We'll be staying here while our portal is being repaired, got it?" Konan smacks us both upside the head.

"Meh, sure. Why not?" I rub my head with a shrug.

"Your not even gonna put up a fight?"

"Why would I? It's not like I'd win..." I go to the living room to watch TV.

"But still..."

"I'm a lonely person, I'll take any company-even yours... no offence."

"None taken."

By then, Tobi had come to and joined me in the livingroom. Pein, Konan, Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Sasori came too, Hidan and Kisame went to the kitchen. Then as soon as I'm about to go to sleep on the couch, I'm attacked with questions.

"Where're your parents, un?" Deidara asks.

"Why'd you wanna know?"

"Just curious, un."

"...Like hell if I know where they are, they abandoned me at age 6."

"Did they hate you?" Tobi jumps in.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I suddenly yell. I pause and let the looks I was getting sink in. "Look. I'm not gonna tell you my life story... at least what I remember of it."

It's silent for a few minutes, then Kisame and Hidan walk in.

"Yeesh, you have absolutely NO food!" Hidan complains,

"Well that's cause I just got outta school. I eat enough lunch there to survive the day." I answer.

"What's your name?" Itachi adds.

"Eh?" I pause for a moment. "Well I named myself Uke."

"Uke?" Hidan smirks. "You do know that means-"

"YES! I found that out 2 years ago! ...and you would know Hidan."

"What's that spose to mean?"

I throw a fake apple at him(plastic).

"How old are you, Uke?" Kisame asks now with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, "14... Anymore ANNOYING questions you wish to ask me!"

"Yeah, has anyone ever told you, you look like like a boy, un?"

I glare, "Has anyone ever told you ya look like a horny little girl!"

"That was uncalled for, un..."

"Your uncalled for!"

"That dosen't even make sense!" He stands up.

I stand on teh couch so I wouldn't be shorter than him, "YOUR MOM! ...wait, do you even have a mom?"

There's a quick silence.

"Naaw, I was just poofed into this world, un!" He says sarcastically.

"Well techniqually, you WERE poofed. INto MY world!"

"You know what meant."

"No nee for sarcasism..." I slump back down.

"Uh-huh."

"You DO look like a boy though." Itachi adds.

"..." I sigh tiredly. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Oh, so you answer him, but not me, un?"

"Don't start with me Deidara..."

"Anoher Uchiha lover, un!"

"Ok, that's going to far!" i throw a pillow at him. "I may think Itachi is a cute and awesome character-or should I say person- but I absolutely HATE Sasuke"

Deidara giggles softly.

"And why do you hate Sasuk?" Itachi questions.

"Let's see here... he acts all cool and emo, his hair looks like a chicken butt dipped in blue paint, he steals everyones thunder, he's oh so set on killing you like it's all he can do-"

"He only wants to kill me cause I killed our whole clan."

"Except him, I know! But he dosen't know teh whole story, I DO! And Deidara, I am NOT obssesed with Uchiha!"

"But you still admit you like one of the Uchiha's, hmm!"

"Actually, 2..."

"2?" Half the room asks.

"You don't know him, but he's Madara Uchiha! I like his alter ego better though!" I giggle. "And it's hard not to resist Itachi when your friend is shoving every good looking picture of him in your face."

"Meh."

"Uke! Make us some food,NOW!" Hidan yells.

"Sorry. Uke is broke right now and can't afford to buy any food!" I hiss.

"well go find some..."

"Do YOU have any money Hidan! Cause if ya do, YOU go get us some food!"

That shuts him up. I notice Tobi staring at me.

"what're you staring at, Tobi?" I ask. I noice Pein also said it too. Tobi stands behind us and starts stroking my hair.

"Are you and leader-sama related?" He asks.

"No, Tobi." Pein answers rolling his eyes.

"But you both have orange hair!"

"Just ebcause we have the same color hair dosen't mean we're related, there's plenty of people I know with natrually orange hair... Chris, Tami, and Sissy... You and Itachi have the same color hair, but YOUR not related ARE you?" I say the last part as a question because I DO know his true identity. That shuts hm up too, but he continues stroking my hair. I've learned to ignore those thigns.

"1...2, 3...4..."

"Why're you counting?" Kisame asks.

"I'm counting how many more bedrooms there are.."

"For?"

"For you guys to sleep in." I try to be patient.

"Well where's your room?"

"Your sittin' in it."

"Hmm?"

I shake my head and don't answer. Kisame turns to the TV.

"All the rooms are upstairs. One of them fits 3... I don't really care who sleeps with who, just don't wake me up..." I mumble. "You'll regret it if ya dooo..." I fall asleep leaning on Pein.

* * *

I wake up in the morning just as the sun was coming up. I mumble some nonsense, then try to go back to sleep. I feel something warm and smooth rubbing against me, so of course I snuggle up against it more. Someone else mumbles some nonsense. My eyes flutter open, but I could barely see anything. I move my arm, then stop when I come across something cool and ahrd. I TURN OVER AND SIT UP.

"mm... Everyone looks so peaceful in there sleep..." I study Pein's face.

"Oh? Your awake?" Konan walks into the room/

"Yeah." I slide off of Pein and onto the other side of the couch near Konan. "Who wants to know?"

"I do." She smirks. "...Huh... Now I get what Tobi was getting at last night..."

"Hmm?" I raise a curious eyebrow.

"If you jus spiked your hair and got some piercings..."

"Oh so know I'm a Pein look-alike?" I joke.

"I never said that." She teases back.

"You were going to."

"Oh so now your a mindreader?"

"...Yes."

"Great, now you even SOUND like Pein!" She laughs.

"hey, I'm not just some look-alike! I'm awesomer and sexier than the original!" I laugh as someone(i Think Pein) leans on my head.

"Like hell you are." Pein cuts in.

"You know I am, right Konan?"

She dosen't answer.

"Whatever floats your boat, Uke." Pein gets off of me.

"meh." I shrug.

"Uke, do me a favor and go wake the others up." She ushers me up the stairs.

"Um, OK?" I shrug and run upstairs to the first room. In the room, Kisame and Itachi share the twin bed. I grab the blowhorn out the drawer and cover my ears. With a press of a button, the 2 jump a foot in the air, Itachi falls out the bed. I giggle, "Konan says get up." I walk out the room the next. It was the larger room. There in the bed laying comfortably was Sasori and Deidara. Tobi was balanced on Deidara's uprised foot.

"Strange... but... ok." I walk over to Deidara and Tobi, and knock Deidara's out the way. Tobi crashes down on Deidara's side.

"Konan says get up." I leave the room snickering. I enter the third room and see no one, an empty room. I shrug and go to the 4th room at the end of the hall and see... nothing. Just an empty, bloodied up room... I walk o the bed and see a severed arm within the bloody mess. I'm stunned for a few seconds, then pick up the arm and leave the room mumbling more tired nonsense.

"20 bucks says this is Hidan's arm..." I huff sliding down the banister. I know I'm right when I see Hidan's severed head on the kitchen table. I toss his arm on the table next to his head, "The hell happened to you?"

"Kakuzu lost his mind and-"

"And I hid his body pieces everywhere after tearing him limb from limb." Kakuzu finishes.

"And Hidan was screaming for half the night, un." Deidara adds.

"Shut it blondey."

"...How did I NOT hear all that?" I ask.

"Konan didn't hear it either." Pein adds.

"...hmmm..." I pick Hidan's head up and get the broom. I hand Hidan's head to Kakuzu. "Toss it to me."

I stand ready at the far end of the room, holding the broom like a baseball bat. Kakuzu catches on and tosses it to me fast. I swing and there's a loud crack.

"Look at you, busting everyone's head open." Itachi facepalms himself.

"I could always bust YOUR head open too!" I drop the now broken broom on the ground and go looking for where Hidan's head was. All I really had to do was follow the path of red. I grab Hidan's head out the fire place and toss him to Kakuzu again. "Who wants the next hit?" I ask innocently. I hear a snap and look up to see Itachi weilding a metal pole, broken off from the cellar door.

"I'm next." He smirks. He stands ready as Kakuzu tosses Hidan's at him nice and fast. With a clang, I see the metal was now bent. Hidan's head went flying, along with him yelling curse words at us. I start laughing as he lands in the chandiler and is now stuck. "Someone get him down, I wanna nother hit!"

I see Tobi suddenly on the ceiling, his feet glowing blue. He gets Hidan's head out and drops it down to me. I catch it then toss it back to Kakuzu. Up next was Kisame, he hits it, and I don't see it, but it goes flying straight at me. It hits me hard in the forehead and I fall back. "Owww..." I lay on the ground and put my hand on my bleeding head as I sit up. Kisame passes the metal beam off to Tobi. When Tobi hits, Hidan's head goes flying into the fire place. When I retrieve the head, I start shaking it up an ddown so the ash would come off some. I hurl his head to Kakuzu again, Deidara up to bat.

"I'm next, un." He stands in the spot I was at. Kakuzu throws this one harder, Deidara swings lightning fast(or at least I think it's lightning fast) and I have to duck down so Hidan's head wouldn't hit me. His head goes crashing through the window. I get up and run out the door, Deidara laughing behind me, along with some others. Hidan's head lands in a rose bush in front of me. I carefully get it out not wanting to get stuck with a thorn.

"Dam you Hidan, you broke my broom..." I complain as I carry him back to the house. I stop and stare at his lower half being dragged off by a wolf. I throw Hidan's head at it full force, then kick it's side. It scuttles of whimpering. I pick Hidan's head up again and grab his lower half and start dragging it to the house. I finally got Hidan to shut up and I saw Deidara putting wood up against the window. I thank him and drop Hidan's head and body by the table. "Hahaha, now THAT was fun!" I drop him on the table. The ones that played agreed.

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**What will happen next? Where's the rest of Hidan's body? What will we DO for FOOD! Found out all this and more... NEXT TIME!**


	4. I got lazy

**MWAHAHHAHA! Hidan pfficialy hates me now! Mainly because I came up with Hidan ball! ON WIH DA STORY!**

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After everyone had calmed down, I asked the question that was getting at me for awhile.

"So... where's the rest of Hidan's body?"

"Somewhere around this house..." Kakuzu answers.

I take a bite of cereal, "Well where? I sometimes get unexpected visitors, and I don't want them finding body parts... also, the blood atrracts animals."

"Well, I threw them all over the place so you just gotta look."

"Meh." I pour another bowl of cereal and an ARM falls out the box. I shudder and push the bowl away, "My appeite is officialy ruined..."

"Why?"

"An arm just fell in my cereal and ruined my food..." I get up and toss the arm into the pile of Hidan parts. I pick up the phone feeling lonely and missing my friends, then set it back down decieding to wait. I look over Hidan's body parts to see which ones needed to be found. i put his head in another spot, cause I was sick of hearing his mouth, then see he has 2 arms, and his lower half. ...but where's his upper half, and his foot?

The answer to where his foot is, get's thrown at my head.

"Catch, un!" Deidara says a bit late as the foot bounces off my head. I hold my head, feeling a headache coming on.

"BICTH!" I pick up the foot and put it in the pile, then go looking for his upper half. I search until night, but no luck. The others were somewhere, hadn't seen them all day. I stop by the door to the dining room a rarely use. I hear soft tones, some louder than others. I open the door a crack and peek in... seems they were having a meeting... I listen boredly to something about fixing the portal, then the conversation turns to me.

"That Uke girl is... strange." One voice says.

"She's up all night, what the hell is she doign?"

"Being quiet unlike most of you..." A female voice.

"uncalled for, un."

"Yes well, this isn't the last you'll be seeing her. She's coming back with us once the portals fixed." A voice I recognize as Pein's. "She's not trusted to keep this secret."

"Oh, so now I'm not trusted, eh!" I say impulsively. Then freeze as all eyes turn to me, spying in the doorway.

"No your not trusted." Pein answers.

I leave, not wanting ot hear more, I go on the roof to relax. And what else do I find up there other than Hidan's upper half. I sigh and take it downstairs to the rest of him. I see Kakuzu sewing him up. I set the body down then go back to the roof with a blanket and a pillow. I llay down and fall asleep to the sounds of the night which I like so much.


	5. Bank robbery!

**OK, this is starting from the NEXT day. But I'm still a bit mad at Pein for saying I'm not trustable T_T I'm trustable... aren't I?**

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Deidara's stomach growls softly, then follows Tobi's and Itachi's. Hidan's stomach growls a bit louder.

"Guys, we have a problem!" I announce. A few of them look up.

"And what is that?" Kisame asks, not really paying attention.

"We're all hungry..." I mumble as my stomach growls louder than the rest.

"NO SH*T SHERLOCK!" Hidan yells at me. Obviously, he's not all the thankful to me for putting his body back together...

I glare at him, "Yes well, we need MONEY to get food... or some really dark clothing..."

"What're you geting at, un?"

"Meh, we rob a bank, get some food, and do whatever else we want!" I answer as the plan forms up in my head.

"We're finally rubbing off on you..." Itachi smirks.

I ignore that, "First, we need a car..."

"What's a car?" Tobi asks.

I throw my hands up exasperated, "The dumbest question of the century!" I walk to the closet and pull out a box of black clothing. "A car is like a car but MUCH smaller." I say gaining my patience back.

Konan mumbles something, getting smirks and nods of agreement from a few members near her that heard. I ignore it and dig through the box tossing black jeans and tops to the guys.

"Me and Tobi'll will stay here.." Zetsu says. I give a quick nod, and go back in the box and toss a mini skirt and long sleeve shirt(both black) to put on. "...Don't just stare at me, put the clothes on!" I yell. I go back in the box as some of the members poof out. I pull out I skirt smaller than Konan's and some fishnet leggings, a greyish long sleeve shirt with a faded Hello Kitty on it. I turn to Hidan and Deidara who remained in the room.

"Get out so I...we can change." I say blankly. They don't move and look over the simple outfit I gave them.

"Out." I say again.

"Don't be so mo-"

I throw the fire poker at them, I miss. It does however pierce teh couch between them. The poof out when I pick up the second poker.

"Agressive..." Konan scoffs.

"Don't start." I start taking my shirt off, when I hear someone coming down the steps.

"Hey are you guys-"

I whip around and throw the second fire poker before seeing who it even was, "I thought I said get out!" I look up to see who I missed. It hit the wall next to Pein's head. I stares after me surprised, then backs away up the stairs.

"Like I said, AGGRESIVE." Konan shakes her head with a smug smile, knowing she was right.

"Oh hush." I say finishing putting on the outfit. As soon as I'm done, the others all poof back. I jump back surprised, "I...will never get used to that..."

"Probaly not." Kisame shrugs. "Now what's this plan of yours?"

"Like I said, we need a car." I grab Hidan and lead him outside. The others follow curious to what I was going to do. I don't say a word and stand by the sidewalk waiting for a big enough car for this plan.

"So this is how we're gonna get a car?"

"No. This is." I shove him in the way of an on-coming SUV, as I hoped, the driver gets out and runs to examine Hidan's stunned body. I hold back laughs as I get a branch and run up on the lady before she saw me and smack her head with the stick hard enough to knock her out. There's a crack. I cover my ears as the lady opens her mouth, I close my eyes knowing she was screaming as she died. That wasn't part of the plan at ALL, I don't like killing people... I come to my senses again as soon as Hidan throws a punch at me. i duck, but he gets my head, so I fall back.

"OK. I guess I deserved that..." I shrug and get up. "Get in the car, guys! ...Pein, your driving."

They all get in the car, except Pein who stays outside with me. "And why do I have to drive this death trap?"

"One, it's not a death trap, 2 I'm not old enough to drive, and 3, I'm about as half as bossy as you." I hop in the car before he can respond to tha last gets in the drivers seat and looks to me expectantly. I open my mouth to tell him what to do next, but Deidara cuts me off.

"How come you get to be up front, un?"

"Do you know how to drive a car?" I ask annoyed.

"...No..."

"Then there's your reason." I turn to Pein again. "It's already started, so... press the gas pedal softly, and turn the car around with the steering wheel." I gesture to the needed things. He backs up roughly, then goes forward. I swear that as he turned, there was a large crack outside. O_o. We drive smoothly as we went straight, but at turns, we risked hitting people.

"STop at red lights, go at green. If you see a stop sign, stop for a split second, but keep going. Don't hit people or animals." I run him through the basics of car driving. "Also, avoid the police when you can."

He gives me a confused look.

"The goody-two-shoes that try to stop every little bad thing you do. They have black and white cars, with flashing lights on top." I explain. "You guys back there listen to this too! I'm gonna teach you guys a thing or two about living here! In my world that is..." I turn to the people in the back and toss a few of them big empty sacks. "Put whatever money you find in these sacks."

I look through the glove compartment, giving Pein directions to the bank, and find a sack of rocks(weird), a rose(Ok...), a slingshot(Hell yeah!), and some flashlights. I hand the flashlights to some of the other members, keeping one for myself. I put the rocks in my pocket, the slingshot in hand. "Ok, stop here." We stop in front of the bank(I'm not GOOD with bankrobbing OK!). We all step out. I see a bunch of blood on my side of the passenger door. I look to Pein now knowing for sure he ran over that lady. I get a rock and aim the slingshot at th camera in front, _blam! _The camera breaks. I lead the others around back looking for a way in, other than the roof(I know it's there because I tried sky diving for cheap, and almost hit that roof).

"There's a way in from the roof, but I have no way to get there." I look at my group of amateur bank robbers, though I really shouldn't be talking. I'm grabbed by the colar of my shirt and thrown straight up into the air. I shoot my hands out for the pipe railing, just barely making it. I hang there for a moment, then start crawling onto the rooftop.

"That was totally uncalled for!" I yell-whisper as they hop onto the roof with me. I shudder at the thought of me missing that pipe. I go to one of the skylights and open it up. I look down at the the floor to see it was lined with laser sensors and camera's. I aim the slingshot at one of the camera's and shoot. I repeat that for all the camera's I could get at. I sit up and look at Kakuzu who was waiting curiously with the others.

"Kakuzu, you think you could lower me down with your tentacle thingies?" I ask. "The floors lined with sensors, which will get us caught if we touch them."

"There not tentacles."

I look at him tiredly and annoyed, "Kakuzu I am having a LONG day, and I'm tired so would you just lower me down?"

I whipped off my feet and go plummeting to the ground head first. I jerk back inches from the floor. I climb up Kakuzu's tentacle thingies to get a good look around the room. I see the power box and smile.

"A little higher, Kakuzu?"

Nothing.

"Please?" I plead. I'm lifted up enough that I can let go of the rope. I hang upside down and aim at the power box. "You guys can come down too, can't you like walk on walls?"

I'm answered by seeing Deidara walking around on the wall. Soon the others join him. I shoot the power box with one, two, three rocks until the lasers disappered. I let out a sigh of relief, when I do, Kakuzu drops me back down onto the grounds.

"Owww..." I groan rubbing my nose. I stand up and look at the bank directory. "This way." I assume that the safe was down this hall. "Hey, where's Dei-"

As we near the safe, there's a large explosion that answered my question, "DEIDARA YOU DUMBASS, YOUR GONNA GET US CAUGHT!" I yell running after the safe, I don't know wether the others followe dor not, but I do know that I was NOT gonna go to jail! I see him on the ground going throw the huge hole in the safe. I jump through the hole and tackle him. "You facking dumbass! Your spose to be quiet during a robbery! What were you thinking!" I get off of him and start dumping the money in the sack I had. I glance back to see the others started filling there sacks too.

"Yeesh, your about as money-crazed as Kakuzu..." Hidan complains.

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR BEING HUNGRY SIR ASSHOLE, BUT WE CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT MONEY IN THIS WORLD!" I yell dumping a shelves contents in the bag. I wait by the entrance keeping look out. I see a whoel fleet of security gaurds running towards the hole. "Um, guys... IT's time to go!" I yell.

"Just in time too, un!" Deidara grabs me and stuffs me in his half full sack and slings me over his back. I love and hait him for this...

I don't know how long Iwas in that sack, I just know something pricked me while I was in that sack. I'm let out when we get in the car, Pein swerving away from the bank. I could barely tell where we were going, but I left it too him, cause I was feeling dizzy. There's a splash of blood spread across the windshield. I let out a scream of surprise, then press a button to wipe the blood away. There's a crash. We all jump out the car. We crashed into a building a mile away from my house. We run into the woods and don't stop running till we get to my house. That may not be an accomplishment for them, but it is for my lazy ass! I colapse on the couch and pull a needle out my arm.

"Great, I got tranqued..." I cough.

"What's... *yawn* a tranq, un?"

"I'll tell you in the-"

Deidara falls onto tyhe couch and fallls asleep(or more like is knocked out). Then, Hidan stumbles and sits down on the floor drunkinly, Itachi looks confused, but shrugs and goes up to his room, Kisame heads to the kitchen. Then, darkness for me as well.


	6. McDonalds surprises

**The following chapters will be split into 3 parts cause they're so damn long... I'm gonna teach the akatsuki a thing or two about the real world!**

* * *

I wake up groggy and planning the day ahead in my mind, also I couldn't move. Deidara was on my legs, Sasori on my waist, I couldn't move... I move and try to wiggle free, only managing to wake up Sasori. He looks at me with glassy eyes, then rolls off of me ontot the ground. into a groggy sleep. I free my legs from Deidara and stumble arund the room. I head upstairs, but trip on Itachi's body on my way up.

"Guess I'm not the only one who got shot with a tranq..." I get up wobbily and get in the shower. Somewhere in that shower, I forgot I wasn't the only one in the house and spent like in hour in there, when I stepped out, I wrapped a big fluffy towel around my self and put my hair into a sloppy ponytail. I go downstairs and the only people up were Sasori, Deidara, Pein, and Konan, and they were talking to each other in mumbles I couldn't quite hear.

"Good morning... or afternoon, or whatever time of day it is." I call out to get there attention. They don't even look up. I come closer to try and hear what they're saying, but Sasori shoves. me, more hard than he intended to. I flipped over the couch.

"Sorry." He glances at me.

"Meh.." I sit on the couch and get out my journal and start mumbling my plans for the day to myself. "Ok, let's see here... I'll be teaching the Akatsuki a thing or two about the real world, some basic laws they need to follow for there time here, and some rules of my own... I feel like a parent..." I write my list of things to do down and see Itachi finally waking up afetr Tobi tripped on him. "Your finally awake? Think you can go get the others cause you guys have a few things to learn."

It takes an hour to get everyone downstairs, awake, fed, and sat down in the livingroom before I can start.

"Ok, you guys have no clue about the rules of this world and how to survive so, I'm gonna explain some to you... starting with some basic rules of mine."

"What makes you think we'll even follow these rules?" Hidan shoots back.

I glare, "Cause if you break these 3 rules, I'm not gonna help you with it."

"Oh yes you will, your just like that."

I roll my eyes and ignore him, "First rule: I don't do babies. Bring a baby home or some pregnant girl, your on your own... Hidan..."

"What?" He looks up. "Why'd you say me?"

"Knowing you, you'd probaly break the rule on purpose, second rule: Don't get arrested by the police."

"What are police?" Tobi asks.

"The goody two shoes that wanna stop you from doing bad things. I don't have the money to bail you out, and definantly don't have the energy to come up with a plan to bust you outta jail." I sigh. "The final rule is: Don't lead ANUTHING into my house I don't want. Disease, police, wild animals, hobo's, prostitutes, rapists, molesters, and fangirls. Definantly NO FANGIRLS. And fangirls are pretty much girls that love you guys a lot and will do anything to be with you, which from being with you guys, will NOT happen." I look around. "So those are MY rules. The world wide rules are simple: Don't murder... at least not in public, no stealing we've got money, no kidnapping, speeding, fighting with police, causing riots, and you can't carry all your weapons around... those are the ones I remeber..."

"That's a lot of rules, un..."

"Your telling me, it's a wonder we survive..." I shrug."What we did las night was against the law, which was why I said be QUIET... so the police wouldn't come."

"Uh-huh, is that all?" Itachi asks.

"What's this here about teaching us to do normal person things?" Kisame jumps in.

"Uhhhh, like driving, shopping, not geting banned from stores, the basics..." I snatch my notebook from him. "Who wants to learn how to drive first?"

There's an awkward silence, then like 3 of them poof out: Pein, Konan, and Zetsu.

I guess I looked shocked cause Kisame and Itachi disappeared too.

"You GUYS!" I grab Deidara and start tugging him to the car(seems someone got a new one). It was a red convertible. I usher him into the drivers seat and get in the passenger seat before I changed my mind.

"Why do I have to drive first, un?"

"Cause you were the closest that didn't poof out." I shrug and start the car. "Now drive, let's go to McDonalds."

"Where?"

"McDonalds, the building with the yellow arches."

He looks at me confused as ever then starts driving off. He runs something over. He dosen't look at me until we get out the woods, "Which way Miss instructer, un." He teases.

"I think it's that way." I point to the left.

He slams on the gas and zooms down the street. I was focused on which way to turn. "Left again and slow down!"

"Meh," He turns into the McDonalds drive-thru and slams on the brake. "How was that, un?"

"...Scary..." I sink down into the seat.

"So why don't YOU drive?"

"Cause I'm only 14. It's a law that I can't drive. It's a law you guys can't draw eiteh cause you don't have a lisence... thank god." I crawl over his lap to get near the window.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Yeah, uh. Can I get... how many are there of us... 6 Angus Bacon burgers, 6 large fries, uhhh... 7 normal Angus burgers, and 7 medium fries, 10 barbeque sauces, Deidara, what do you want?"

"Angus Bacon burger, Large Fries, and a ten piece chicken nugget, un."

"Also can I get 20 piece chicken McNugget, 15 Pepsi's, 4 Apple Dippers, and a cheeses burger happy meal with a boy toy." I add.

"Ok..." The person types in all our orders on the screen. "That'll be... $35.50."

"Damn, really? Ok." I jump down to the glove compartment to get a $50. "You guys take 50's?" I yell.

"Yes, ye we do."

"Drive forward, Deidara." I say getting the money out. He stops by the first window. The lady was a bit surprised to see only two of us.

"Here's the money." I hand her a fifty.

"Are you guys having a party or something?" She asks getting our change.

"No, there's only 9 other people back at the house, un."

"Yeah, you guys'll eat me outta house and home if I don' get enough."

"Aren't house and home the same thing, un?"

"...Shut up." I get out change and sit back down in my seat. "Drive to the second window and we can go."

He does so and starts claiming the truckload of food and drinks we(or i) ordered. We shove it all in the back seat.

"We really don't eat that much, un..."

"Oh yes you do." I catch the barbeque sauce as i comes flying through the window and we drive off again. We end up crashing through the park, making a wrong turn, and almost hitting a little kid before i take over the wheel. I drive us home semi-safe and pull into the forest.

"Deidara..."

"Yeah?"

"You aren't gonna drive unless we're causing destruction..." I mumble, stepping out the car to get some of the McDonalds. Deidara tries tp walk off,

"Get your ass over here and HELP me!" I yell grabbing half the bags, "Now."

He rolls his eyes and gets the rest of the food and carries it with me to the house. When we enter, no one is to be seen. I drop the food in the kitchen and call out a few of there names, "Sasori, Tobi, Konan!"

The sun starts setting, "Man, we spent a lot of time doing nothing... guess this is dinner."

I was expecting a comment about my obviousness from Deidara, but get none. I turn around and see him gone. "If you guys are trying to scare me, it's not working." I call out again. I pick up the fire poker just in case. I hear a scream, a GIRLS scream.

"I'd recognize that scream from anywhere..." I dash upstairs. "COAL!"

Another scream, some yells of pain. Yeah, definantly Coal.

"Guys, don't hurt her..." I drop the poker and walk into the room calmly. I see Coal tied up in the middle of the room. "She's my friend!"

"Hey Uke, you know these weirdo's? They claim to be the real Akatsuki but-"

"They are real. I just came back from McDonalds with Deidara, soo..." I explain sheepishly.

"WHAT!" She yells. "Why didn't you tell me before, I just told Carly to come over!"

"You didn't!"

"I did!"

"...That's actually a good thing, I was starting to get lonely."

"LONELY! You are with the Akatsuki!"

"Yeah, but there all guys except Konan and all older than me." I shrug and untie her.

A voice comes from downstairs, "Uke? Coal? You guys there?"

"Hey Scarlet!" Me and Coal call down.

"I've gotta surprise for joo!" I yell running down after her, Coal follows trying to shove me out the way, racing me.

It turns out as a tie as we crash into the floor at Scarlet's feet.

"Dude. What's with all the McDonalds?" Scarlet helps us both up.

"It's our dinner, un." Deidara comes downstairs. "...Who is this..."

"Friends, which I guess they're stuck with us now that they know of yo guys." I shrug.

"Huh? Why is there a Deidara cosplayer here?" Scarlet asks.

"Huh, there not cosplayers. There real. Really real, they got here from there weird portal thing. It broke down here and now there gonna fix it!" I explain.

She SCREAMS. I cover my ears as she lets it all out. She calms down, but by then everyone had come downstairs to the smell of McDonalds. I go to the table and start tossing food to Coal and Scarlet. More than enough for the both of us. I grab 4 Soda's and 2 fries and walk off, "The rest is yours!" I smile.

Me, Coal, and Scarlet take up the whole couch and the Akatsuki take up the floor around us unwillingly. Like hell if I was getting up and losing my spot.

"So wait, explain this to me, what the hell happened?"

"Well actually, it was a normal day for me, I went to sleep and when I woke up, they were there. Before i figured that out I attacked them with fruit!" I explain. "Then I found out they were the Akatsuki. They got here from there weird protal thingy, am I getting this right?"

"Gimme your spot and I'll tell you, un."

"Nice try, but no." I smirk and lean back to enjoy me soda, then shot back up. I turn to Coal, "Coal... come with me real quick."

"But what about our spots?" She says back.

"This is MUCH more important..." I drag her up the stairs to the extra room in the far back no one new about. It was a bit scary and I forget that it's there. We enter it and a immediatly scream when I see a spider. I dash past it and turn on the light. The room was a mess. I get a duster and remove the cobwebs, Coal gets a vacum finally catching on, and starts vacuming up spiders and other gross things.

"So whoes room will this be?"

"Hidan and kakuzu's. The only room that I don't CARE if it gets destroyed."

"And why?"

"Cause you two will hav to stay with me, then come back with me and the Akatsuki to there world cause they don't-"

"EEEEEP! YAAAAAAYY!" She squeals. I cover my ears annoyed.

We pull out the bed and walk out the room. When we get to the stairs I see mine and Coal's spots taken by Hidan and Deidara.

"Hidan, Kakuzu. You guys got a new room! It's at the end of the hall!" Coal calls out as we come down the stairs.

"WHY?" Hidan questions.

"Cause it's my house, and we've got 2 new guest." I roll my eyes. "Also, we get the big room-"

"We're sharing with TOBI!" Scarlet interupts.

"WHAT!" I question. "Oh no he isn't!"

"Yes he is!" Scarlet wraps her arms aorund Tobi.

"Urgh... fine."

"Hey, I was perfectly fine with the big room, un!"

"You get the big room, you get Tobi."

"Nevermind, un."

"Thought so. Work the rest out yourselves, I'm all outta food and my head hurts..."

"How much was all this food?" Kakuzu asks.

"Like $35.50, why?"

"..."

"Not a word Kakuzu." I shrug and flop down on the couch, laying on Deidara and Hidan. Coal lays with her feet on Deidara, me with my feet on Hidan.

"Fatasses..." Hidan mumbles.

"Says the guy who just ate for two people!" I gesture to his leftover wrappers.

"Shut up."

"You first, Jashin Bitch."

'You gonna let her get away with that Hidan?" Coal teases rolling off of him.

I sit up some as he gets a weird look on his face.

"I hate you sometimes, Coal. and now is one of those times." I grumble jumping off of Deidara and running out the room, Hdian chasing afetr me. He easily catches up. I glance at him, then hide behind Pein, like a human sheild.

"You little pansy..."

"..." I peek from behind Pein as Hidan stalks off. "Thanks..." I run at Coal and tackle her to the floor, "You bitch, are your TRYING to get me killed!"

"No!" She laughed. "Just some payback for leaving me with those ghetto ass kids down the street! Which I'm still plannign!"

"MEAN!"


	7. Hidan's crappy game

**OMG! NO FAIR, IT'S 10 AGAINST 3! ...Or maybe it is fair? No. No it isn't.**

* * *

I slowly wake up in the morning, then fall off the bed seeing Tobi so close to me. I let out a cry of pain as I hit the floor. I roll over and grumble nonsense. I lay there on the ground trying to wake up fully, but I just end up falling back asleep on the ground. The smell of something burning gets me up, apparently the smell got Scarlet(Carly for short) and Coal up too! Scarlet rolls of the bed and lands on me, then I'm guessing Tobi followed suit.

"Holy fuck!" I cough. "Someone HELP me!" I struggle to get free, but they're both very heavy... "Great. I'm gonna die of suffocation from fatass people..." I grumble. I try rolling over and Tobi falls off of me. I let out a breath of air and push Scarlet off. I go downstairs with Coal, for Scarlet went back to sleep.

"The hell's burning?" I ask tiredly.

"Deidara's sad attempt of trying to prove he can cook." hidan smirks.

Deidara glares at him, and I can't help but laugh.

"Try turning down the heat on the stove." Coal mumbles into the cereal box.

"Oh, so your helpful to him, but not me?" I tease.

"Yeah well... Uke I know you don't like the red froot loops, but this is rediculous!" Coal pours out a bowl of totally red cereal.

I walk up to her hand take the bowl and cereal away, "You do NOT wanna eat this..."

"Why not?"

"Hidan's severed arm ended up in it, which is why it's red!"

"How do you not like a certain part of cereal?" Konan asks.

"I just don't... it tastes weird..." I throw the cereal away and turn to Deidara. "Hey Deidara, don't break my stove OK?"

He just grunts in reply and dumps something in the pan.

"What is he even making?" I ask Itachi.

"I think pancakes..."

"Deidara, what're you trying to prove." Coal asks.

He dosen't answer and goes to the fridge and dumps some eggs in.

"Where'd all the food come from?" I ask.

Still no answer.

"KYAAAAA! TOBI-KUN IS MIIINE!" A voice screeches from upstairs. There's some loud thumping, and Tobi comes crashing into the kitchen wearing pigtails and one of MY kawaii shirts!

"Tobi! Why're you wearing my shirt!" I tackle him to the ground.

"SSSHHhHHHH! Hiding from Scarlet-chan!" He pushes me off him and goes and hides somewhere.

"What the...?" I sit there on the floor dazed. Scarlet comes running downstairs with wide-eyes.

"Where's Tobi?" She asks innocently.

"NO!" I stand up and grab her hand, understanding what had happened. "Sit!"

She sits unwillingly in a chair next to Konan.

"Stay!" I go sit next to Hidan. "Now I wonder where Tobi went...?"

I'm answered when Tobi walks into the room holding a jornal, the lock twirling in his fingers.

"Uke? Whoes this Sean-"

"Shut it Tobi!" I stand up. "And gimme that book!" I grab it from him.

"But whoes Sean?"

"No." I glare and take the book and rip the page he was reading out and hold it over the fire on the stove. The page burns, but the memories still in my mind. "Just no, Tobi..."

"It's done, un!" Deidara announces setting a plate of... I don't know on the table.

"What is IT?" Konan asks poking at one of the things with a fork.

"Don't know... some weird food I fond in this book, un." Deidara grabs a cook book off the counter and opens to two different recipies: Pizza bagels and waffles and bacon(same recipe).

"Deidara, these are two VERY different things... and it seems you added a few extra ingrediants..." I tell him glancing at the mess on the counters. "And I'm not very sure if these are safe to eat... so Hidan you taste them first!"

Deidara seems a bit hurt, "My food isn't poisinus..."

"Not your kinda poisinus, but mabey give someone food poisining... and I've had it before. Don't want it again." i shrug and shove a piece in Hidan's mouth while he wasn't looking.

He freezes then starts coughing and spits i out onto my hand.

"EWWWW!" I wipe my hand off on him annoyed. "Well how was it?"

"Taste it and find out."

"Mean... and I'm not eating it by myself.."

"Fine, I'll try it with you!" Scarlet sighs annoyed and grabs one of Deidara's creations.

"Tobi will too!" Tobi suddenly says after Scarlet whispers something to him.

"Meh..." Coal grabs one and looks around. "Anyone else?"

Kisame and Itachi exchange a glance, then poof out.

"Assholes.." I growl and grab a piece off the plate.

Hidan leaves and so does Sasori. Only leaving Konan. She sees Pein coming in, "Hey there Pein, here take my spot!" She shoves him into the chair, then runs off.

"Pein, wanna taste one?" I ask sweetly.

"Yeah sure..." He says without looking up. I'm not even sure if he heard me. I slide the plate over with the last one then turn to Coal.

"Count of 3?" She suggests.

"Sure."

"1..." She holds the creation up.

"2..." I hold mine up.

"3, un." Deidara finishes for us watching curiously.

I pretend to take a bite, while Coal shoves it into her mouth. She turns green as she swallows it, then runs out the room fast as she could, probaly to the bathroom.

"Falls for it everytime..." I mumble then turn to Scarlet and Tobi who were eating there's at the same time. Before I can even see her take a bite she's heading to the sink along with Tobi. They start a push war over the sink, rinsing there mouth out. I look at the food in my hand, "Is i really that bad?"

"3rd times the charm, un?" Deidara coaxes the food into my mouth. I take a bite and smile.

"I don't know what there problems are, this is pretty good!" I exclaim finishing the rest. He gives me an unbelievable look.

Coal enters, "I bet she liked it! She has weird tastes!"

Scarlet leaves the sink, "Which is why you should always place your bets on her when it comes to eating!"

I turn to Pein who was now tasting it only looking half awake. He tastes a bite, then walks off finishing it off.

"He's apparently not a morning person..." I mumble.

"Your usually not either!" Scarlet exclaims.

Hidan dashes in, "Let's play a game! Dosen't have a real name but it goes like this: There will be teams, each team has to try and hurt the other, but not maime. The last one standing wins!"

"How did I see that coming?" Coal asks herself. "But I'll play!"

"Me too!" Me and Scarlet say at the same time.

~~~(1 hour later)~~~

The teams were VERY uneven at first, but me and Coal fixed that up getting other members to quit, like Kakuzu and Itachi. The teams are:

Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, and Kisame vs. me, Coal, Scarlet, and Tobi.

Pein and Konan didn't wanna play our 'mindless' game.

We start the official game now. I was hiding in the closet with Tobi. I was prepared to use him as a human sheild if needed. I leave the closet and grab a baseball bat and look around for someone, anyone.

I see Coal at the stairs and Kisame chasing after her. I wait a few seconds before shoving Tobi in front of him, and sending them both tumbling down the stairs. I grab Coal's hand and lead her away to hide in one of the rooms and plan something.

"Fill me in. Anything exciting?" I smile.

"UUUhhhhh, Scarlet and Sasori are out, actually Sasori quit afetr almost getting pushed in the woodchipper-"

"psshhhh, what?" I giggle. "The wood chipper? lol, that's hilarious!"

"I know right? So now, Kisame and Tobi are out... I love the simpleness of this game!"

"Hey wait... where's Deidara?" I ask.

"Uhhhh, I haven't seen him since I tried to get him in the very beggning."

"Let's... keep moving..." I start heading out the door. Coal dosen't answer, I see her tied up and Deidara carrying her. He smirks at me and throws her over the bed, she hits the wall first.

"Fcuk!" She yells out and starts messing with the ropes.

I run out the room fast as my legs would carry me. I slide down the banister, and shove past Itachi and Deidara following. I run faster as he easily catches up, then make a sharp turn into the cellar. I close and lock the door breathing heavy. "AAAHHH! SPIDER!" I scream.

Deidara laughs outside the door, "You can't stay in there forever, un!"

"Y-yes I can!" I yell back brushing my leg off. I scream again and hold the door shut as I hear i click, then suddenly silence. I open the door open a crack and see a DOG waiting out there for me. It barks and growls, scarnig me back inside the cellar. I lock it again and go down the stairs and head out the back door. I walk around front and go into the front door in the livingroom.

"You got past that dog?" Hidan asks coming out the shadows. I see Deidara out. I run like hell as he swings his SCYTHE at me.

"Oh My god, Hidan you ass!" I scream running away with my hands in front of me. I grab the fire poker and block a swing. I drop the poker and run again, this time to the attic. I lock the door and sit there catching my breath. Hidan's scythe blasts through the door, cutting my arms and shoulders up pretty badly.

I hold the door-which wasn't a very good idea at the time- as the scythe hits again, now cutting my hands. I run from the door and stand a few feet away.

"OK! You got me, now stop!" I say uneasily.

He pauses in the doorway and I see my opening. I run past him, he takes this as a chance to hit me in my back with his lance. I rip it out and run to the livingroom.

"Games over!" I breath out as I crash onto the floor. "So tired..." I huff and puff at the bottom of the stairs.

"Huh, a normal like you got past Hidan without death?" Sasori asks.

"YES! And only cause I was RUNNING for my LIFE!" I glare. "Death isn't an option for me!"

"Right..." Sasori shrugs.

"Dinner, un!" Deidara smiles running to the kitchen smelling food. I follow a bit slower. I end up the last to the table, stuck sitting next to Tobi and Hidan.

"I. Hate. That. Game." I mumble. "Never again."

Hidan chuckles darkly, "Your a fast runner, ya know that right?"

"Only when I'm running for something important, like my life for example." I glare.

"Meh."


	8. ROCKTOBER! Cosplaying

**lol, ROCKTOBER! YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *cough cough* I'm calm now... *innocent look***

* * *

"So what'd ya make this time Deidara?" I smile.

"Chicken and this." He holds up the cookbook.

"Ramen? That's actually a good mix..." I serve myself some chicken and drop it in the ramen and start eating.

"Finally, some decent food." Coal grumbles. "Not Uke food..."

"Stop hating on me and Deidara's awesome food!" I kick her under the table.

"Owwww!" Coal complains.

"Serves you right!" I complain back, then look to see what time it was... then look to the calender. "Scarlet...?"

"Yeahm?" She answers with her mouth full.

"When's Rocktober?"

"...next week..."

"O-M-F-G! WHAT!" I yell standing up.

Rocktober is this HUGE fair only my town has. We can cosplay, have fun at the carnival, watch shows, swim at the beach, and COSPLAY! Yep, love it so much, I wrote it TWICE! i can't BELIEVE it's next week!

"Carly!" Coal yells getting up too. "You were spose to tell us 2 weeks before!"

"SORRY! I just got so caught up in different things and FORGOT!" She stands up also.

"Gah, we need to get our costumes ready!" I yell running out the room.

For the past 3 years we've entered the cosplay contest, we've been betean EVERY time by this ONE group. Every year, 2nd place! Well this year, we were gonna change THAT!

The Akatsuki look at us like this: O.o

"I'll be right back guys, I'm getting some stuff from Coal's and Scarlet's houses!" I yell running out the room.

Again everyones like: O.o

Scarlet grabs my keys and runs out the door, "I'm going to get some supplies for cosplaying!" _I am NOT staying here with the Akatsuki!_

Coal stands there awkwardly, "Uh, I'm gonna go... take a shower..." She leaves the room and grabs some of my clothes(my less liked ones). "Follow me and I'll beat the living hell outta you!"

"Hn, seems one of her best friends is just as agressive as her." Itachi grumbles.

"I HEARD that!" Coal yells.

Everyone: O.o

~~~(1 week later)~~~

Me, Coal, and Scarlet were pretty much done with our cosplay costumes just in time for Rocktober. We just needed to do our hair... which was proving to be harder every year.

"C'mere Scarlet my red head!" I grab some gel and start spiking her wet and frizzy hair.

"Uke! Your getting it EVERYWHERE!" She complains.

"Yeah well, maybe if you weren't so damn TALL, this wouldn't be a problem!" I grimace try to spike her hair like sasori's, some spikes going downward.

"Maybe if YOU weren't so SHORT..." She grumbles.

"I'm not SHORT!" I yell. "There, your done."

I'm not bragging, but this was pretty good! I mean, I've had an actual Sasori to look at to get the hair right.

"I think I've got my hair right..." Coal mumbles to her reflection to the mirror, and we're in the living room by the way.

"You actually do..." I look to her and toss her the Leaf headband. "Now help ME spike my hair! It's hard..."

"STick your head in the freezer..." Scarlet pushes me head first into the deep freezer and begins spiking my hair like every year.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" A voice asks.

"Spikin her hair, Pein-sama." She let's me know whoes there.

"For?"

"Rockober!" I say shivering. "W-We've been talking about it ALL fucking WEEK!"

I don't get an answer.

"Uh, what's going on, un?"

"Rocktober!" Me and Scarlet yell.

"Oh yeah, can I come, un?"

"Seriously?" I ask still in the freezer.

"Well yeah, it's better than sitting at the house all day, un!"

"Will you preform with us?"

"...Fine..."

"And can you ask the others if they wanna come too?" Scarlet asks. "Espicially TOBI!"

"Obseesed much, un?"

Deidara stops spiking my hair for a minute to go whatever, but it made Deidara leave. She finishes up and I take my head out and look in the mirror.

"My lips are BLUE!" I exclaim checking myself out. The spikes were great, but my LIPS!

Coal laughs at me and I start chasing her around the house as she starts messing with my hard-working spikes! My lips turned blue for these spikes...

We jog back to the living room, my lips back to normal 10 minutes later. Everyone was in there and looked at the two of us like we were crazy. O.o

Scarlet comes down to join us.

"OMG, you look like danna, un!" Deidara announces.

"THANK YOU!" Scarlet claps and does a little dance.

"Told you I knew how to gel good..." I mumble and grab my Rain headband and some fake piercings.

"Thank you mighty Gel-ler!" Scarlet jokes.

"Your welcome, Sasori-chan!" I smirk.

"And don't kill me Uke, but you really do look like Leader-sama now..." Itachi adds.

"HELL YES!" I cheer to myself. "What? If I'm hearing that from the real Akatsuki, it must be good..."

O.o - Again with the look...

"Tobi thinks Coal-kawaii looks like Itachi-san!" Tobi announces after taking a good look at Coal.

"See? I'm a better cosplayer than ALL of you! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Tobi never said that..."

"SHUT IT TOBI! YOUR A BAD BOY NOW!" Coal bops Tobi on the head annoyed.

"Owww..."

"Tobi never SAID he was a good boy, Coal!" I smack her upside the head. "If I've told you once, I've told a million times. Tobi didn't start that! Zetsu did!"

"So? He IS a good boy!" Coal grumbles.

"I thought you just said he was a BAD boy!" I throw my hands up annoyed. "C'mon Deidara, we need to PRACTICE!"

"FINE..." He complains following us to the backroom.

"Stay OUT!" Scarlet warns.

"Great, all three of em are agressive..." Hidan grumbles.

"In case you haven't noticed Hidan, they're taking after us." Itachi points out. "If you were less violent and agressive, they'd be a LITTLE calmer."

~~~(At Rocktober!)~~~

We head straight to the cosplaying contest area(me, Deidara, Scarlet, and Coal) because we got here kinda late. I quickly sign our usual stage name right under our numer one cosplay enemies.

We wait until like 6 contestants go on, and I feel like I'm being facking WATCHED. I just about fell asleep on Deidara(I was in his lap and everything), when they caleed our names, scaring the crap outta me. I fell off him. I quickly stand up after getting some looks from other contestants.

"What're you lookin at? Never seen a girl trip before?" I glare. They turn away. We go out on stage and begin, earning some laughs from the audience(sorry, to lazy to go into details...). Tobi comes crashing from the ROOF. He lands between me and Scarlet, I SCREAM. That scared me!

I hear some giggles, then Deidara starts to improvise.

"Leader-sama, you scream like a girl, un." He smirks.

"I do not!" I play along.

There's another crash, I turn around and see Hidan with his over-sized scythe.

"I'll MURDER you Tobi!" He yells chasing Tobi around the stage. Coal blinks twice then shoves her foot out, tripping Hidan. He crashes to the floor. I can't help but laugh at him, neither could the audience.

"Hah, your short..." Scarlet walks up to me teasingly.

"I am NOT!" I tease back.

She holds her hand up to her forehead, she's taller than me by 3 inches. "Taller."

"Yeah, well I'm taller!" I stand on my tippy-toes.

"No your not, your on your tippy-toes!" She pushes me over.

I fall into Deidara, who falls onto Hidan, a human sandwhich. Tobi jumps on top and yells, "A cherry on top!"

"Sandwhiches don't HAVE cherries, Tobi!" I say, he was flattening my stomach. He was on top of ME... the fatass...

"My kind do!" He crosses his arms.

"Yeah, well your kind sucks!" I push him off of me, to no avail.

"Aw, c'mon. Is our leader really that weak?" Coal walks up teasingly and pulls Tobi off of me.

"Shut up, I'm stronger than you!" I cross my arms.

"Yeah RIGHT!" She crosses her arms too.

"Arm-wrestle!" Hidan calls out with a smirk.

"Hell yes!" Me and Coal cheer and go to the magic table that poofed outta nowhere. We set up and start.

"One, two three go!" Tobi yells.

We struggle for a few minutes, but in the end I win!

"Hell yes! I TOLD you I was strongest!" I cheer, then pause and whisper into Coal, "Banana song! Tell Scarlet!"

She goes to do so, I tell the others to either do the dance with us or go to the background.

Me, Coal, and Scarlet stand side-by-side, then Tobi stands next to me as he saw what moves we were doing.

We do the monkey and start singing as loud as we could, "I'M A BANANA! I'M A BANANA! I'M A BANANA! LOOK AT ME MOVE, YEAH, YEAH!"

We do that for a little bit before going to the next move, looking like a plane, "BANANA POWER! BANANA POWER! BANANA POWER! BANANA POWER!"

After the main part, we start dancing around like retards singing the rest loudly.

I jump up to the front of the stage with Tobi and start dancing like a chicken, "CHICKEN, CHICKEN, CHICKN, GIRL! I AM CHICKEN CHICKEN GIRL! CHIIIIIICKEN GIRL!"

Coal joins me and, "LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK, LOOK AT LOOK AT ME!"

Scarlet sings the next part as fast as she could, "LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK AT, LOOK AT ME MOOOOOVE!"

We start singing the last few I'm a banana's tired out and take a bow, something hits the back of my head and I fall forward, and land at the very edge of the stage. Coal and Scarlet jump on top of me, and sit.

"GOOD BYYYYE!" Hdian and Deidara chorus.

"I'M A GOOD BOOOY!" Tobi chimes.

The audience looks at us in disbelief, then start clapping and laughing.

I smile big, even with two heavy people on me.

They get off and help me up, we head back stage to let others finish up.

"I'm a banana, un?" Deidara looks at me amused.

"It's a hilarious song!" I smile back and sit down waiting for others to finish.

30 minutes pass before the last 5 people finish and they cast there votes, btw, our group name is Random Banana's!

A lady comes up and says we're in the top 3! Which is usually expected.

We go on stage and stand between some n00bs who did some Naruto and Sasuke cosplay which I have to admit was hilarious, and our rival's: The Badasses. They do Akatsuki cosplay like us.

"We are pleased to announce the 3rd place winners are... The Badasses and there remake of Deidara vs. Sasuke!" The MC says.

"HHHHUUUUUUH!" There groups eyes bug out as they recieve there reddish and small thropy.

I try not to laugh at them, hah! 3 year champs, beaten by n00bs!

"Second place is... The Random Banana's and there random Akatsuki bit!"

"WAAAAAAA-!" I look at the MC in shock. We got beaten by NOOBS!

Scarlet claims the 2nd place trophy, which was bigger than her head and a blueish color, while I quietly swear with my head in my hands.

"We got beat by N00BS!" I yell-whisper into my hands.

Of course 1st place was those n00bs. the trophy was bigger than the Naruto guy! and it was gold! I can't believe this! Even this year, we got second an dgot beaten by NOOBS! GAh!

We leave the stage with our trophy(another blue one) to add to our second place cabinet.

* * *

**You think you could review? PLEASE! I feel less motivation to write more... T_T Can I at least get one more review? ONe or two? It'll make me better and have INSPIRATION!**


	9. ROCKTOBER! Fun and trouble

**lol, ROCKTOBER! YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *cough cough* I'm calm now... *innocent look* OMG I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! FANFICTION WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH UPLOADING! SORRY!**

* * *

We had met up with the other Akatsuki where all the food was(no surprise there).

"We gots second place!" Coal smirks.

"AGAIN!" Scarlet adds, her cheerful mood gone.

"And we got beat by newbies!" I add, my cheerful mood also gone.

"Yeah, but at least you beat these so called rivals of yours, un..." Deidara tries to cheer us up.

"Meh..." I grumble knowing it was true. "Let's go eat, that finish made me hungry!"

"And what exactly WAS this finish?" Itachi asks.

"Dancing around like idiots singing abuot banana's." Pein answers. He catches the look I was giving him, "Some of us were surious on what you were gonna do, and saw your ending."

"Who EXACTLY is this we?" Coal asks.

"Me, Konan, Kakuzu, amd Kisame."

"Huh... and it got laughs, besides. We've looked a lot more like idiots in the past 3 years!" I start heading to the order window of McDonalds.

~~~(1 hour later)~~~

Turns out our rivals had recorded our whole little bit, they gave us the tape as a little gift because they thought this was our best.

I think it's cause they lost to n00bs! Mean little me!

"Daddy! Mommy! Look, look!" A little girl points at me and Pein. "Twins! I wanna twin!" She runs up to us holding an autograph book. "Can I have your autographs, twins?"

"Uh... sure..." I grab her sparkly pen and scribble my name onto a page.

"we're sorry if our daighter is bothering you!" The mom walks up to us nervous.

"It's fine. Really." I shrug and hand the book to Pein.

He signs it and hands it back to me. I give it to the girl, "Here ya go sweetie!"

She smiles brightly at me, "THANK YOU!" She runs of with her parents.

I hear laughs behind me. I turn and see Deidara and Coal laughing at me. Itachi looks away with a smirk.

"What?" I ask.

"That litle girl just PROVED you look like a boy, un!"

"I KNOW your not talking!" I throw a plant bud at him, which he dodges easily.

"I know I AM, un!"

"Shush!" I pout and cross my arms. "Let's go ride some rides!"

"I call Tobi and Itachi!" Scarlet calls and grabs Itachi's and Tobi's hands and runs off in one direction.

"Uchiha lover..." I grumble.

"But Tobi's not an Uchiha, un."

"..." I give him annoyed look. "She's an Uchiha and Tobi lover, OK?" I lie.

"I'm fine myself." Kakuzu says dashing off.

"Me too." Kisame leaves the other way.

"I call Konan and Deidara!" Coal yells grabbing her two companions and running off.

I blink once, twice confused as Sasori suddenly disappears.

"Well then I guess it's you and me, Pein." I grab his hand. "Let's go ride a rollercoaster!" I dash off as fast as my little legs would carry me(Yep, I admitted it!).

I stop out of breath at this one ride with a short line. I didn't actually read the name of it, I just got in line. After I caught my breath, I saw I was the only teen in this line. Everyone else was like 17 and up. I've got a BAD feeling about this ride.

"Did you ever see what the name of this ride was?" I ask.

"Something about Drop of Terror.." Pein answers. "Why?"

"Eh, no reason..." I remembered the ride from when I was younger. I see a little boy crying and his older brother with him.

"FINE! If you don't wanna get on the ride with me STAY HERE!" The older brother yells stomping to the ride. He then sees me, "Now THERE'S a brave kid! Yah see that Kenny, a GIRL is getting on this ride! Is a GIRL really better than you!"

"NO! Girls are icky and have cooties and are weak!" The little boy screams running into line. "Ya hear that girl! I'm getting on this ride too, and your mind tricks won't get to me!"

"..." I look at the brother. "Uh, is your family mainly boys?"

"Yep." The older answers.

"That explains it..." I grumble. "And are you SURE you wanna get on this ride? Your the youngest one here." I tease the little boy.

"Y-Yeah! Your young to, and a girl!" The boy runs up to me. "Why don't you go get on the teacups where you belong!"

"Cause I'm so BADASS that I belong here with the guys on this babyish ride!" I get down to the 10-year olds level. "You act like such a little girl, go get on the teacups yourself!"

"NO!" The boy runs and hides behind his brother who was smirking at me. I giggle and go to one of the loading gates with Pein.

One go later and me and Pein are in the front row. I HATE being in the front. It's scarier. The ride shoots off going up this big hill, then goes down, a loopty-loop, some zig-zags, and other things. The whole time, I'm clinging to Pein screaming my head off. A bad habit, I did it with some stranger once. lol, that sounds wrong.

We get off and look around for another ride or game.

"You scream loud." Pein says outta nowhere.

"I do not..."

"Yes you do."

"Ok, maybe I do."

"You do."

"Your point."

"Well I didn't think Ms. Badass would scream so loud on such a babyish ride." He uses my own words against.

"Oh look, let's go get on that ride!" I change the subject and point to the Tony Hawk ride I'd been on a few times.

He gives me a smug look, "You gonna scream on that ride to?"

"NO!" I turn a light pink as I realize how loud I was talking and people staring at us. "I don't scream that much..."

"Riiiight..." He rolls his eyes and follows me to the ride. The line was a bit longer. We get put with two total strangers, I sit backwards with this really fat kid. I knew I was in for a wild ride when we started turning while we were going up. That much weight on your side.

The ride was fast, and I smacked heads with the fat kid giving me a headache.

"We need to talk about yours and yuor friends transfer to our world." He says with his eyes spinning a bit.

"Sure, we can talk on the teacups." I keep walking while he gives me a look. We get in a blue cup, after a quick arguement(I wanted the pink one).

"Ok what do you wanna talk about?" I ask As the ride starts.

"You guys need to at least learn some basic ninja moves before you can go out and, learn how to control your anger issues... all of you."

"we don't have ANGER issues!" I argue.

"Well then, your bipolar."

"I'm not bipolar either!"

"What's your sign?"

"Leo."

"Then maybe it's just you that's bipolar."

"Am NOT!"

"See? You were just happy and now your mad."

"Meh!" We get off the ride and wander around for a minute when we see Konan and Deidara and Coal at some kinda water balloon thing. Me and Pein go over, and start throwing water balloons at the poor guy in the mouse suit. I hold another balloon then turn to see a little girl clapping her hands.

"Hahaha! Daddy, look at the mousy!" The girl giggles. "Let's go to it!"

"Ok, sweetie, we're going."

"YAy! And can we get some cotten candy?"

"Sure." The mom shrugs.

I feel a tinge of jealousy.

"I LOVE you!" The girl claps.

"We love yuo too honey." The dad smiles.

I hear a popping sound and water goes dripping down my arm.

"Uh Uke, is something wrong, un?" Deidara asks.

"No." I look over to the others who were staring at me with mild intrest.

"Suuuuure." Coal throws her last balloon and grabs my hand. "Let's go ride some more rides! Konan says she wants some 'alone' time with Pein-sama!"

"Uhhhhh..." I let her drag me along to the big drop, it was like 50ft tall! "I love this ride..."

"What's to love, un? I can jump twice as high as that!" Deidara complains coming up to us.

"Yeah, well the highest we can jump is a foot or two off the ground, so this ride's kinda cool!" Coal smiles as she gets into line.

Deidara walks off mumbling something.

"You seen Scarlet anywhere?" I ask.

"Nurp," She plays with the ride bracelet around her wrist. "Haven't seen her since we split up at the table."

"Wow, she must be... Happy?" I shrug. "I mean she LOVES Uchiha's!" I smirk.

"Yeah, and Tobi's a fun Uchiha!" Coal agrees.

"With an alter-ego!"

"And that's why he ROCKS!" Coal says the last part loud as some rocks come outta nowhere and she ducks out the way.

I laugh at her, "Dude, it's just some of the Akatsuki trying to get our attention!" I wave to Itachi and Kisame.

Kisame disapears and Itachi comes up to us.

"We need to go." He hisses so no one could hear.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"Can we at least get on this ride?" Coal whines. "We waited forever to get up here!"

"No."

"Oh C'mon! You know I hate waiting for a long time! Just let us get on and we'll LEAVE!" I grab Coal's hand and run like hell to get on the ride.

Itachi facepalms himself and grumbles something.

We get on and strap in, the ride shoots up. I had just noticed we were the only ones who got on this time... the hell? OH yeah, that's right we were LAST in LINE and a show was about to happen close by!

It drops down a few feet, then goes up some and drops down more, and etc.

I see a different guy with blueish hair working the ride. He seemed to be having problems. The ride ends and just as the harnesses were coming off, we shot off back into the air. I scream bloody hell as we shoot to the top. I pull the harness back on me, but it dosen't lock in place. I wait like 5 minutes struggling and waiting for the ride to go back down, but it dosen't. I squint my eyes and see the ride operator wasn't there anymore.

"Coal...?" I breath.

"Y-yeah."

"Do you think there was a REASON Itachi said not to get on?"

"Forget Itachi, that ride person looked awfully familiar!" Coal yells then pauses for a few seconds then starts screaming for help. "AAAHHHHH! ITACHI HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP US! OH MY GOD HELP US!"

I follow suit to get more attention, "HEEEEEEEELP! WE'RE GONNA DIE! ITACHI HELP USSSSS! PLEEEEASE! AAAAHHHHHHH!"

I hear a creaking sound and I stop screaming, so does Coal. She looks at me as the creaking gets louder.

"Grab the railing!" She hisses as the ride starts shaking roughly.

I do a quick nod when I hear a voice hiss, "Die."

The seats go slack and start crashing down, I quickly grab the railing as it does. With a large crash, the seating is destroyed at the bottom of the 50 foot drop.

"AHHHHHHH HEEEELP!" I scream again now scared outta my MIND.

"SOMEBODY HELP US! WE DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"I REGRET NOTHING!" I scream.

Coal stares at me like: O.o

"Well I don't." I give her a look.

"Well I regret not listening to Itachi!" She grumbles.

Someone above our heads swears. I look up curiously, but only see a quick flash.

"...Ninja..." I whisper to myself. No one in our world can move that fast, OR climb this thing!

"What was that?" Coal asks wide-eyed as ever.

"I'll tell you when and if we get down!" I say back. "Try climbing down!"

"We probaly shouldn't do that..."

"Why?"

"Because the ride is catching fire down there..."

"Gah! Everything is out tp get us ain't it!" I yell as I start climbing up instead of down.

"Where are yuo GOING!"

"Trying to get a better look!" I stop when I find a good ledge to balance on and look to see the police, fire fighters, normal people, and the Akatsuki. Itachi dashes off chasing someone, two blue haired people dash away too. "Where the hell is our help at?"

I start climbing down when the ride starts shaking again. With a snap, I'm free-falling thorugh the air. I scream and shoot my hands out to grab the ride. Bad idea. I hit some sharp pieces jutting out, slicing up my hands before finding a smooth pole 10 feet below Coal.

"There putting out the fire!" Coal calls down to me. "You OK?"

"Yeah, I just messed up my hands though!" I catch my breath from seeing my life flash before my eyes... which wasn't much. "But where's our rescue team, my hands are bleeding ot death!"

"How are only your HANDS bleeding to death!"

"They just are! Don't question me!"

"What's with all the rumbling?" Coal shouts as the ride starts rumbling again.

"I don't know!" I yell back.

She yells something else, but I don't hear her cause the rumbling gets louder and we start TIPPING!

I scream and start making my way to the safe side, I see a lone blonde guy, but his hair was shorter than Deidara's. He grabs me before I can see anymore.

"Get the other girl!" He orders as he carries me away over his back.

"GET THE HELL OFFA ME!" I hear Coal scream.

The blonde gets me off the broken ride, I then start screaming as loud as I could to get some attention.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED BY A BLONDE RAPIST! SOMEONE HELP! AAAHHHHHHHH!" I scream loud as I can. "OMG, HEEEEEEEEELP! I DO HAVE ONE REGRET IF I DIE AND THAT'S NOT LISTENING TO WEASEL-BOY!"

I'm ignored, but I see some people pointing and staring. I do my last possible move, biting.

I bite the blonde carrying me away where ever I could reach. His shoulder, neck, back, arm, head. He was bleeding as much as me. I'm dropped head first.

"I can't carry that violent one! Leave her, we've got her friend!" The blonde yells dashing off all ninja-like.

"HEY! YOU GIMME BACK MY COAL-CHAN!" I yell chasing after the guy holding Coal.

They pause for a minute at a big waterfall, giving me a chance to catch up and tackle the guy holding Coal off the side. I grab Coal with one hand, and a jutting out rock with the other.

"Your more trouble than your worth..." I grumble as I feel my arms stretching.

"Your a great friend UKE!" She yells.

I hear more footsteps and some more cursing. The blonde jumps off the side of waterfall, with a flash of light he's gone. A girl jumps down to and she disappears with a flash of light, she had pink hair...

"Where'd they go, un?" A voice I recognize as Deidara's says.

"We're down here! Help us!" I yell.

He looks down curiously, "How do I know that's REALLY you, un?"

I growl at him, "DEIDARA YOU BLONDE BITCH, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T HELP US RIGHT NOW I WILL COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND BEAT THE HELL OUTTA YOU!"

"Yep, that's you..." He helps us up onto land.

I collapse on the ground from exaushtion. I screamed and yelled, almost died on a ride, ran a mile, and had my arms stretched out on a cliff. Ouch.

"Where's Scarlet?"

"Uh yeah. About that, un..."

"What happened to Scarlet?" I sit up.

~~~(BAck at home)~~~

"You LOST her!" I throw my hands up.

"Yep." Itachi shrugs.

"Don't you DARE shrug at that! Scarlet is my second best friend!" I glare. "And she's the one that keeps me from BURNING the house down from going INSANE from you guys!"

"Well it dosen't matter, you can go save her soon cause our portal is FIXED, un!" Deidara walks in.

"HELL YES!" Me and Coal slap high fives.

"But we have to PROMISE we won't go to the good side! And we save Scarlet!" Coal says.

"Ok, I promise." I shrug.

"NO! We have to SLAP promise!"

"FIne."

We do our slap promise then groan ow.

"I miss our pinky swears..." I mumble rubbing my cheek.

"Crazy asses..." Hidan mumbles coming in.

"Why's everyone suddenly coming in to he living room?" I ask.

"Weren't you LISTENING!" Coal smacks my head.

"Owwwww..." I groan. "No. I wasn't."

"Yeah, well we're going to there world!" Coal hits me again.

"Stop HITTING me!" I hit her back.

She hits me back. It then turns into a hitting fight.

"Cat fight!" Tobi claps.

We start laughing at him just to confuse him. It works.

"We're gonna go set up the portal, Tobi keep them comfortable, un." Deidara leaves us with Tobi.

"Your gonna LOVE our world, Coal-kawaii. Uke!"

"Hey Tobi, why don't you call ME Kawaii?" I ask.

"Uhhh..." Tobi changes the subject. "So what do you wanna do?"

Coal suddenly blurts out, "I think Madara is dead sexy!"

"..." Tobi stares at her. So do I.

I recover and say, "Why do you say that?"

"Cause he's evil, an Uchiha, extra strong to protect me, and SEXY!"

"Yeah, well I like Tobi better! He'd be my boyfriend instead of Madara!"

"Well WHY! Tobi acts all stupid and retarded, no offense Tobi." Coal argues.

"Cause Tobi'll make me laugh, protect me, AND is twice as sexy!" I argue back. "Instead of another emo Uchiha! There's already Itachi and Sasuke! ...Actually, Sasuke is mental."

"He's not MENTAL! You are!"

"Yes he is mental, he's all bent on revenge like a crazy person, I bet his first words were: I'm gonna kill you Itachi!" I say the last part all squeaky voice. "With his chicken butt hair do!"

There's a knock n the door. I go get and see my ex, Sean. I look back and see that EVERYONE had come back. I swear, they KNOW when something bad's about to happen.

"What do you want, Sean?" I glare.

"I want you back, Uke!" He confesses holding chocolates out to me. "I miss you and I thought abuot what you said!"

"Yeah, well i don't want you." I say coldly.

"Oh c'mon Uke, your my hoe and-"

"WHAT! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" I cut him off angrily. "I'M YOUR WHAT!"

"W-wait, that came out wrong!" He stutters.

"AND NEXT YOUR GONNA SAY YOUR MY PIMP, EH?" I step out the doorway. "Your still the same!"

"No, I've changed Uke-"

"Go AWAY!"

"IF YOU JUST LET ME FINISH-"

"OUT!"

"Uke-"

"Sean, you cheated on me with 5 other fucking girls, then left me cause I wouldn't give you a blow job like those other whores! What-"

He punches me right in the face, "SHUT THE FUCK UP UKE!"

Reason number one I left him, he's abusive. Second, he ALWAYS has to be right.

"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU BITCH!" I yell as I fall on the ground.

"I'LL DO WHAT I WANT YUO WHORE!" He yells back.

I stand up and start shoving him out the door, "GET THE HELL OUT MY HOUSE NOW!"

"Not till I finish!" He throws me off and hits me in the head with the fire poker I left by the door.

I hit the ground with a thump.

"SEAN!" Coal screams running to me. "You asshole, get out her house already! She don't want your fagget ass!"

"Yes she does, she needs me!"

"I don't need you! Get out my house NOW!" I scream grabbing Hidan's scythe from off the ground. "Get out before I KILL your faggot ass!"

He gets a scared look and begins backing away. "OK, fine I'll leave... but you'll NEVER find someone else!"

"Yes I will, I already have!" I scream before thinking about it.

He runs away as I weild the scythe.

"Ok, the portal will be ready tommorow afternoon!" Konan announces walking in. She pauses when she senses the dark aura going through the air. "Uhm..."

I drop the scythe and go to the kitchen for the ice cream. I eat when I'm mad or sad, sometimes when I'm bored. I grab a tub of ice cream, a spoon, and some chocolate syrup, then go sit down in the living room watching TV.

The akatsuki stare at me confused.

_I swear, next time I see Sean, I'll kill him, bring him back to life, then kill him again! _I think angrily.

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**You think you could review? PLEASE! I feel less motivation to write more... T_T Can I at least get one more review? ONe or two? It'll make me better and have INSPIRATION!**


	10. Goody bye home!

**I'm so awesome... **

**Deidara: No**

**maybe... kinda...?**

**Deidara: Na-uh**

**shut up Deidara.**

**REPLIES TO REVIEWS!:**

** : Yes. Yes I am. But I like other things to!**

**SandrileneFaToren13 : HEHEHE! Thanks! You were my inspiration!**

**MaxRide1432 : THANK YOU-NESS! UR THE BEST! AREN'T CAPITALS AWESOME!**

**Maddie : lol, Deidara and Hidan went off-stage refusng to do the dance with us! Also: The update button was broken! Sowwy! *kawaii eyes* *3*  
**

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"What. Was. That." Konan asks.

"My asshole of an old boyfriend." I answer simply. "Abusive bastard."

_KNOCK KNOCK BANG!_

_"_Abusive?_" _Tobi asks.

"WHO THE HELL IS IT!" I yell opening the door. "SEAN! I SAID GO AWAY!"

"No, not till... who are they?" He looks up a bit scared at the giants behind me. "And why are they so tall."

"Nunya bidness!" I glare.

"So your her abusive boyfriend?" I hear Hidan.

"EX- boyfriend!" I correct.

"Whatever... only one who would take you, eh?"

"Go away Hi- Hayden." I shove him away.

With a sudden flash, I see Sean... more like his fist. It hits me full on.

Everything seems to be all swirly, I sit next to the couch dazed.

_Woah... what'd Itachi do to me? Yep, I blame Itachi! Unless it was anyone else who can use genjitsu... meh._

I close my eyes, and when I open them, I see Scarlet and Coal first.

"Shh, it's fine..." Coal says, then points to Tobi, Deidara, Pein, and Konan crowded around Sean, who was bleeding pretty heavily.

Deidara holding him by his shirt glaring. Sean is dropped and he goes running out the door full speed.

"Crap... the hurted..." I mumble rubbing my cheek, my mouth was bleeding. "I guess that's the last I'll ever see of him... no. It."

"You ok, Uke-chan?" Tobi runs over to me and picks me up.

"Yep, all good. Even better now that Sean's gone." I answer. I notice his hands were a bit bloody.

_Eh? His hands are bloody... guess he went off on Sean... _I think happily.

"Hey Tobi, can you come with me to the mall?"

"Why?"

"Cause I can't get my ears peirced without a parents permission... stupid rules..." I grumble.

"OK!"

**~~~(2 f*cking hours later)~~~**

The girl who peirced my ears took hella long! It took her 30 minutes just to get the right persings, then anoher 20 for her to actually pierce me.

What I got was: 3 rings on my right ear, 4 on my left. I also got one of those pole thingy's that Pein has, except it had hearts hanging off the side of it and it was black. I got a lip ring on my right side, and a belly button ring shaped like a pirate sword.

"Woah." Kisame gets a whole eye full of me.

"What?" I ask.

"Just... woah..." Kakuzu stares at me.

"Stop STARING!" I grumble crossing my arms. "Scarlet, you like it right?"

"Yeah, I'm the one that encouraged you t do it!" She smiles.

"SEE! My piercings are awesome!" I smirk.

"Why're the all on your face, un?"

"There not." I lift up my shirt. "See, and the face ones are take-out-able. Which is why I got an uneven amount in each ear."

"And she couldn't afford it!" Tobi chimes.

"ha!" Coal grabs my arm and Scarlet's too, then leads upstairs. "We need to pack!"

"ErgH! I hate packing!" I complain.

"Whaddya mean! This time your just putting all your stuff in a suitcase or two!" Scarlet smacks my head.

"Oh yeah.." I rub my head.

We enter my official room(where I kept my stuff) and pull some suitcases down.

There was one black with hearts, another was blue with grayish fish on it, another was black with red akatsuki clouds(which I drew myself), another black one with SASUKE(yuck) on it, also a strawberry shortcake one and one with skulls.

"Sasuke!" Coal grabs the Sasuke suitcase and runs out the room, then comes back for the one with fish on it. "ah-heh-heh-heh..."

Scarlet takes the one with Strawberry shortcake and black with hearts, "Be back later."

I sigh and then get the last one down, then grab a green one I forgot to get. I empty out all my drawers into one suit case.

"There's some room..." I start grabbing outfits from my closet, I get my plushies and set them in the green suitcase, same with my cosplaying stuff. I shove my yearbook, scrapbook(which my old foster parent made), and an old video camera(two actually) filled with memories. I lug that one and the green one downstairs with me. I leave it by the couch, then go to our(Me, Scarlet, and Coal) recording studio. I grab our headsets and put them in neatly, then our microphones then stop.

"Hey Pein, would you be able to bring this whole room with us?"

"Yeah."

"MMkay." I go back and put the things back and munch on some cereal.

**~~~(The next day)~~~**

We were now in the Naruto world. At the time, me, Scarlet, and Coal were all hopping around avoiding stuff falling from the ceiling. All the stuff we brought from our world. With a large crash, we see our recording studio land in a big opening in the wall where a bookshelf was. We slap high fives then run in, but are stopped by Itachi.

"Put your stuff away first."

"Ok!" We agree for once and run and grab ourself then look aorund for the extra rooms.

I shove Scarlet out the way and choose the one with a red door. "HAH! I call this one!" I throw my stuff in and see which ones they get. Coal got a blue door near the back door, and Scarlet got one in a rather secluded spot. That's just her. I go back and see my room was right next to the attic, the front door, and the kitchen(yum!).

I go in and see a drawer, a bed, a closet,, a bookshelf, and a window. I simple room... for now...

I put all my stuff in the drawers sloppily, then put my plushies in the shelf in the closet, I put my coplaying wigs in a drawer, the clothes got hung up in the closet. And that was it. Just a bunch of clothes. I flop on the bed, when Scarlet bursts into my room dressed like Karin.

"Sasuke. Cosplay. Sing. Now." She says glaring.

"Coal?"

"Yup."

"Fine..." I get my Sasuke wig and put it on, then his whole little outfit, with the white shirt under it cause I'm a girl, and take off my ear piercings, the lip stays.

We meet Coal(who was dressed like Sakura.) in the living room. We get some stares from Itachi, Deidara, Pein, and Kakuzu.

"What?" Scarlet asks.

She dosen't get an answer.

"OK Coal, what're we singing, you know I hate being dressed as Sasuke-teme!"

"C'mon and I'll tell you." She goes into the recording studio.

There was a small place where we sang, smoe charis on the outside, A screen to tell us the lyrics, the control thingy too. All wrapped up into a smallish room.

"We're doing ET, Katy perry and Kanye west." She says stepping into the recording place. I hit record and enter with Scarlet. We play the music, quickly get our headphones on, then get to our mics then start.

Scarlet wouldn't hear much of what we say because she actually has her headsets over her ears(low volume). I keep mine wrapped around my neck(Medium volume). Coal holds one side of the ear phones to her ear(between medium and high volume).

I start it, "_I gotta dirty mind, I got filthy ways. I'm trying ta bath my ape. in ya milky way. I'm airrevlant, I'm a reverend, I be so far up-up-up-up-up, we don't give a fu-u-uck. _  
_Welcome to the danger zone, step into the fantasy, You are not invited to the otherside of sanity. They calling me an alien. A big headed astronaut. Maybe it's because your boy. Yeezy get. Ass a lot."_

And so on, just to lazy to type it up.

**~~~(Later)~~**

"It's dinnah time!" I run to the smell of food.

"Uke! We're cosplaying, your suppose to be Sasuke!" Coal complains.

"Food out-does Sasuke any day!" I toss the wig to her and go to the kitchen table.

"That's not right, Uke!" She calls out following.

"Why in the hell are you dressed like Sasuke, un?"

"I'm dressed like Sas-GAY because Coal made me cosplay as him!"

"I don't think... I wanna know, un..." He anime sweat-drops.

"Fine then, be that way... Hn."

"No. Don't make that sound. I hear it enough from Itachi, un."

"You hear what enough from me?" Itachi walks in.

"Hn." I do it again just to bug him.

"..."

"She's cosplaying your brother." Scarlet explains.

"By FORCE." I add.

"Riiiight." Coal rolls her eyes.

"Hn." I look around as others come in. Deidara sighs.

I hear a chittering sound. I look down and see a squirrel.

"Hey look, it's a SQUIRREL!" I announce and pick it up.

It growls at me. I get wide-eyed, then throw it out the window, and close it.

"What was that?" Sasori asks.

"I had a bad experince with squirrels... and it growled at me..."


	11. Cause we can

**"AH-HUH! HOLY SHIT! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GET OFF MAH DICK!" I scream lyrics.**

Coal continues, "FEW TIMES BEEN AROUND THAT TRACK BUT YOUR ASS IS STILL FAT-"

"Why the hell are you guys singing so loud!" Kisame questions.

"BEcause we can!" We laugh, continuing our little song.

* * *

"HEY HEY, YOU YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Scarlet sings to Deidara and Sasori.

"NO WAY, NO WAY!" Coal chimes.

"I THINK YA NEED A NEW ONE!" Scarlet continues.

"YAOI!" I scream outta nowhere doing Caramelldansen.

"Why the hell are you guys acting like retards?" Sasori asks.

"Cause we can!" We ignore the insult and run off laughing.

"Bakas." Sasori mumbles.

* * *

At the time I was laying on the kitchen table trying to catch up on my sleep.

"Why the hell is she sleeping on the kictehn table, un."

"Why not?" Coal smirks.

"Well we eat there, un so why would she sleep there."

"Cause i CAN, blondie!" I jolt awake, scaring him.

I laugh at him.

"Freaks.." He mumbles.

"Wonder s for dinner?" Scarlet wonders outloud.

* * *

Tobi was sitting in the livingroom playing with Lego's.

I walk up to him and sing extra loud,

"SHOULD I TALK SLOWER LIKE YOUR A REATARD! SHOULD I TALK SLOWER LIKE YOUR RETARDED!" I point to the corrsesponding people as I sing the rest.

"YO, THEY THINK YOUR DUMB, I THINK YOUR SMART!

NO WAIIT I LIED,

I THINK YOUR DUMB! STUPID MOTHERF*CKER, STUPID MOTHERF*CKER, STUPID MOTHER F*CK!"

"W-Why did you just sing that?" Tobi asks more angry than sad.

"Cause I can lollipop!" I dash off laughing my ass off.

* * *

Scarlet starts singing, "And I was like ba-"

"NO!"" I slap her. "No singing that!"

"Oww..." She whines.

"You deserved it."

"What is WITH you guys today!" Hidan yells coming into the living room. "Youor more bicthier than ever!"

"Hidan's PMSing..." Scarlet whispers, making me giggle.

"Totally." Coal agrees.

"What'd you say?" He glares.

"Nuthin." We all say wlaking away with our hands behind our backs.

"Grrr..."

* * *

"AHHHH! TENTACLE RAPE!" Coal screams running past us, tossing us a suitcase full of money. Kakuzu chases after her.

I can't help but laugh at her,, then run like hell with the money.

Kakuzu comes after me.

"RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! HELP, TENTACLE RAPE!" I scream tossing the suitcase to Scarlet.

She then screams while running away, "TENTACLE RAPIST! HELP! PEIN-SAMA, KAKUZU'S TRYING TO TENTACLE RAPE ME!"

She tosses it back to Coal, so from there, it turned into monkey in the middle with the money.

"Why're you playing monkey in the middle with Kakuzu?" Itachi walks up.

"Cause we can!"

""We're you goin aorund screaming tentacle rape?" Pein asks.

"Cause we can!"

"Stop saying that!" Sasori glares.

"NO!" I yell tossing the money case. "Catch Tobi, and RUN!"

Tobi does so, Kakuzu runs after.

The 3 of us slap high-fives laughing.

Something shoots me, HARD.

"OWW!" I cry out along with Coal and Scarlet.

Sasori, Hidan, and Kisame were holding blow darts.

"What was that... for...?" I start feeling dizzy.

"So what does it do?" Itachi asks.

"Turn them into over-sized bunnies." Sasori answers. "see?"

I felt a lot shorter. I see Coal as a black bunny, Coal as a red one... which ment that I was orange... *sigh*

"Sasori!" I scream, but it comes out a small squeak. "I hate you!" I add.

I'm grabbed up by Deidara, "They really are over-sized, un."

I kick my feet, not even hurting him.

I shoved in a cage, and put in a corner in the living room.

I bite at the bars, bounce around everywhere, and try to get free.

"WAAAAAHHHH!" I scream as Tobi and Deidara throw carrots and broccoli at me. "I swear when I'm outta here, your DEAD I tell you, DEAD!"

Not a word, just some laughs as I twitch and dodge.

"Why are you doing this to me!"

"Cause we can, un." He says with a smug look.

I swear if I didn't look like a bunny, I'd be glaring so hard...

Later on, Kakuzu comes around, his tentacles out. I shrink back to the corner of the cage.

He reaches in and grabs me by my scruff.

I was twicthing rapidly now, my feet stiff.

"you stink." He says simply, then drops me in the tub with Coal and Scarlet.

It was FREEZING.

I squeal and try to jump out, to no avail.

'"I hate being a bunny..." I mumble.

"Your telling me." Coal says back.

* * *

Night time, and the spell finally wore off, but they hid our clothes.

"WHY did you do that!" Coal grumbles wrapping a towel around herself.

"Cause we can." Itachi says with a smirk.

"Bastards." I grumble slipping on one of Deidara's shirts, a towel around my lower half.

"And to think fangirls all around the world would be all over you guys naked." Scarlet grumbles putting on one of the Akatsuki cloaks.

"You guys look like prostitutes." Sasori points out.

"Thank you VERY much, Ginger!" I yell annoyed.

"Your welcome." He smirks.

"Where's the wood chipper! Your all going in there!" I run to the garage and drag the wood chipper back.

"GAh! STop her, un!" Deidara pulls me away from the chipper, Sasori pushes it back into the garage.

"You guys are sleeping outside tonight." Itachi says.

"WHAT! HELL NO!" Scarlet protests.

* * *

We're outside, in a tent for the night. Sharing one large sleeping bag, and some pizza.

"I OFFICIALY hate the Akatsuki!" Coal yells. She changed into one of Itachi's shirts, and put some under wear on. Actually, we all did.

"Same here!" I add.

"Me too!" Scarlet grimaces. "We did nothing to them!"

"Meaners." Coal grumbles getting in the sleeping bag. "It's hella cold..."

"Yes. Yes it is." I join her, ending up in the middle.

"And it's suppose to be Summer, hah." Scarlet sleeps next to me.

* * *

We woke up the next morning a bit to close for my liking, and I was in the middle.


	12. Rescue part 1

**MMmmm.. here's yet another chapter! More reviews plz, and thank you!**

**Cool: Thanks for the review, nd I try to update as much as possible.**

**cheyanne: I don't think Rocktober is real... I just mixed a bunch of my favorite stuff together and got the name Rocktober from Big Time Rush. So it probaly isn't real...**

* * *

"Dun-nuh." I mumble filling my water-gun with milk. "Du-nuh."

Coal had got the Jaws theme song stuck in my head.

I head to Scarlet's room quickly, "Du-nuh, du-nuh, duh-nuh, duh-nuh, YAHHHH!" I spray her and the room with milk, then run away to my own, and lock the door.

"UKE! I SWEAR WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" She screams banging on my door.

"You'll never catch me slow-poke!" I laugh.

I hear her growl and walk away.

I pick up my phone and call Coal, "Phase one is complete!"

"I could hear her from the kitchen, shit. Anyways, the bathroom is set up!" She laughs. "In 3.. 2... 1!"

I large explosion could be heard.

Me and Coal start cracking up, laughing so loud and hard.

"Oh man, I would LOVE to see her face!" I laugh.

"You can, I video taped it all!" She answers still laughing.

"I'm gonna kill em, I'm gonna kill em, I'm gonna KILL them!" I hear Scarlet chanting walking down the hall.

"You better hide Coal, she's pissed!" I giggle into the phone.

"Got it!" She hangs up.

"Now time for faze three..." I mumble getting the big red button. I tip-toe outside and stalk Scarlet through the hallways until she comes to the kitchen.

Thank goodness no one else was in there to catch this flame.

"C'mon... to the fridge.." I whisper.

Finally she goes to it, as soon as she opens it, I press the button.

KABLOOOM!

A ton of pies and cakes go flying out the fridge, attacking Scarlet. She falls to the ground.

I start laughing my hardest, "Oh GAWD! Can't breath! Can't breath! hHAHAH!"

I catch her glare and freeze.

"Run AWAY!" I yell running out the room.

I crash head first into Tobi, and fall back.

"Crap!" I crawl into a closet and lock it to stay hidden.

"UKE! When I find you, you are DEAD!" Scarlet screams stomping past.

"..." I stare wide-eyed, then call Coal again. "The hell are you?" I yell-whisper.

"I'm hiding from Scarlet in my room, how bout you?" She mumbles.

"Closet. Hiding from Scarlet." I hang he phone up and peek out the door. Scarlet's back was to me.

I slip out the door and walk silently away.

"There's the bitch right there." Hidan says pointing at me.

"Damn you, Hidan!" I dash away and hide in my room for awhile to let her cool down.

* * *

**~~~(2 days later)~~~**

"Pein, get up." I shake Pein softly to get him up. Konan wanted him, and so did most of his members. "Pein get up!"

"Not now Katana." He mumbles turning over.

"The hell is Katana? I'm Uke!" I shake him harder. "Oooooooooh, your cheating on Konan!" I tease.

He glares at me fulling waking up, and props himself up on his hand. "What?"

"Your members want or need you." I answer.

He sighs then plops back down on the pillow.

"Konan wants you too."

"Shhh, good night."

"Someones not a morning person." I grumble grabbing his arm. "Konan says she has something impotant to talk to you about, and Itachi and Sasuke are arguing! Since when did you let him join!"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"We needed more members, now leave me be."

"But-"

**CRASH!**

"You fucking dumbass!"

"I'M the dumbass? You did it!"

"Shut up!"

"YoU!"

"Drop dead, emo-weasel!"

"Go to hell, chicken butt!"

Now THATS where I cross the line!

"HEY! NO STEALING MY INSULTS!" I run out the room smacking them both upside the head my hardest.

"Now quit your arguing already! It's annoying in the morning!" I complain. "If your gonna argue, do it after 12pm!"

They both stare at me shocked, rubbing there heads where I hit them.

"You hit hard..." Sasuke mumbles.

"Thank you."

"Uke... you look... different..." Itachi points out.

"Yeah, well ask Sasori about it. He's been using me as his little guinea pig while I sleep." I grumble. "I'm gonna go find him.. and what's so different about me!"

"Well first off, your flat-chested now." He says with a faint smirk.

"...He said something about boys..." I mumble then glare stomping down the hall chanting, "I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him."

"Oh, hey Uke." He waves.

"Don't hey Uke me! What'd you DO to me!" I growl.

"I kinda inserted some guy genes into you..."

"Well take them OUT!"

"OK, ok..."

* * *

"C'mon Uke! Let's play!" Coal drags me out my bed.

"zzz...nooo..." I grumble letting myself be dragged. "Sleepy..."

"C'mon, we're playing Naruto Shippuden!" She whines dragging me all the way to the living room.

"Why're you dragging her, un?"

"Cause she isn't a morning person." Coal props me up on the couch and shoves a controller in my face.

"FINE." I check to see that I'm second player.

Scarlet plays as Itachi, I choose Deidara, and Coal chooses Sasuke... no surprise there.

We were the only ones making noise for a few minutes until Itachi asks, "What the hell are you guys playing and why're we in it?"

"It's a game!" I yell blowing up Sasuke(Coal), and catch Sasuke's glare.

"About Naruto, ya know the show we told you about!" Coal adds getting me back by summoning her snake.

"And we're playing as you guys at the time!" Scarlet finishes using Mangeyko on Sasuke(Coal) and Deidara(me).

"damn you Scarlet." Coal glares.

"Don't DAMN ME cause you guys are about to LOSE!" She laughs back with a smug look.

Me and Coal share a look, then double-team Scarlet.

We let her go once she had a tiny bit of life left to go every man for themselves.

"Now that just wasn't right." She adds.

"Ya mean like when you and Coal double teamed ME?" I shove her off the couch and finish her(Itachi) off.

"You cheat!"

"I do not!" I lie. "You just went flying off the couch for no reason!"

"You PUSHED me off, you mean!" She snatches my remote from me and starts presssing butons rapidly.

Coal just stares at us, forgetting about the game.

"Don't DO that, asshole!" I yell grabbing for the controler.

"TO late!" She laughs.

Deidara(me) explodes himself, managing to catch Sasuke(Coal) in it too.

"Bastard!" I snatch the remote back. "You killed both Sasuke AND Deidara!"

"Well ya shouldn't have killed Itachi!"

"You can still USE Itachi, he didn't blow up! Now both Sasuke and Deidara are unusable!" I smack her upside the head.

"Get over it and choose another character!" Scarlet gets up and grabs her controller.

Second round, Coal is Kakuzu, I'm Hidan, and Scarlet chose Jiraiya.

"Why'd you choose the pshyco?" Scarlet questions.

"Why'd YOU choose the perv?" I shoot back.

"..." She stares at me annoyed.

The fight is pretty even, I was busy trying to get my chakra up to fight.

"You suck, Uke." Hidan comments.

"Shut up, Hidan." Both Kakuzu(Coal) and Jiraiya(Scarlet) come at me.

I press whatever buttons on accident and go into sacrifice mode. I get them BOTH.

"HAHAHA! Take THAT! I rock!" I cheer as the cutscnec happens.

"DAMNIT!" Scarlet tosses the controller aside.

Now it's just me and Coal.

"Why? Why do you have to have 5 fuckign hearts?"

"I only have 4 now." She grumbles back to me.

"HA." I start attacking rapidly, I get another heart down. Then another.

"CRAP! Down to two hearts already!" She curses using her speacial move on me.

"Hidan dosen't HAVE a heart dumbass." I say as I recover quickly and attack again.

"Well then how the hell is he alive?"

"...don't yell at me." I grumble focusing on the game.

Then... time runs out.

"DAMNIT!" Me and Coal yell in unision. "Stupid timer!"

Then... the power cuts off.

"WHAT! NOOOOO!" I scream with Coal and Scarlet.

"Hehehe... I've finally found you, Katana..." A guy appears on screen.

"..." We all stare confused before Scarlets speaks up.

"Whoes Katana?" She asks.

"None of your buisness." The guy hisses.

Right then Pein walks in. Great. Someone for me to complain too.

"PEEEEEIIIIINNNNN! There's a pedophile on our TV!" I scream.

"Then turn the TV off." He rolls his eyes.

"..." I do so. "Great idea- AHHH!" I yell out as the TV snaps back on. The guys eyes were glowing and glaring.

"SEE! He's back! And he's tlaking about some Katana chick again!"

"AHHHH!" Coal screams being sucked head-first into the television. "HEELLLLP!"

"OH MY GOD, COAL!" I grab her leg and pull.

Others join when I threaten to push them in too.

She slides out with a POP.

"Ew! Why're you sticky!" I complain.

"I don't KNOW!" Coal stomps off.

"Fuuuuck." Scarlet groans laying on the floor.

The guy was gone with a few curse words.

"That... was... creepy..." I announce.

"Uke, why're you flat chested?" Scarlet asks.

"Why dontcha ask SASORI, EH!" I point an accusing finger glaring.

* * *

**_7 months Later..._**

A lot happened within the span of 7 months.

Coal and Scarlet are part Uchiha, yeah thats one thing. Another thing is, oh yeah, my BEST FRIENDS are dating the Uchiha's! Also, 3 people have attempted to kidnap me. Another thing: Konan and Scarlet are FAT... well... kinda fat... they're actually pregnant. Final thing, Pein, Konan, Itachi, and Sasori are sharing a secret. Damn them.

"Stop that!" Scarlet whines smacking my hand away.

At the time, I was poking her stomach reapetedly.

"I. Can't. Belive. You." I glare at Sasuke.

He looks away.

"Itachi, watcha doin?" I ask boredly.

"I'm sitting on the couch next to you, watching your retarded show." He replies scornfully.

"What's your problem?" I grumble.

He dosen't answer.

Sasuke looks straight at me and says, "I'll be back."

I raise a skeptical eyebrow on why he said it to me.

5 minutes later, Itachi says, "I'm goin on a walk. Uke, make some decent food tonight."

"Uncalled for." I grumble.

He leaves without another word.

~~~(1 week later)~~~

"Uke!" Coal and Scarlet yell, stomping into my room.

"What'd you do to Sasuke and Itachi?" Scarlet glares.

"I did NOTHING!" I hold my hands up defensively. "Last I saw them was last week, and thats it!"

There eyes get big and watery, then they start bawling like babies and flop onto my bed.

"I guess painting my nails is outta the questions..." I grumble setting the nail polish box aside.

I make two clones, one as Sasuke, the other as Itachi.

"Sasuke!"

"Itachi!"

They hug the clones tightly.

I sigh, "Where's the Uchiha's when you need 'em?"

Konan then walks in, "Have you seen Pein? Or Deidara? Or Hidan? ...or Sasori?"

"Nope.. lemme guess, they disappeared last week?" I huff standing up. "Looks lilke we've got a rescue mission..."

"Me and Konan'll stay here." Coal pipes in as her Ita-clone poofs away.

"I'm staying too." Scarlet announces.

"Well... whoes coming with me?" I say tiredly.

"You have... let's see here... Kakuzu's on a mission, so is Zetsu... Kisame is on a mission too, you've got Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo, and Tobi."

"Good enough for me!" I exclaim running off to gather my rescue team.

I stop right outside the front door where drag marks could be seen in the dirt.

"...whoever did this wasn't very secretive." Karin points out following the tracks.

I agree and follo her, my team in tow.

"The tracks stop right here, Uke-chan!" Tobi points out.

"Well now where- AHHHH!" I fall down into a hole. I land with a thump on a half-dressed girl carrying a bowl of... well something red. I don't wanna think about it right now though, cause I'm covered in it.

"The girl came from that way." Suigetsu points.

"Ok then you and Jugo go that way, Karin and Tobi go this way," I point to the second corrider. "I'm going this way." I head down the third corrider alone.

I walk down for I don't know how long when I come up to 3 different doors.

I open the first, it was totally empty. I open the second, and blush a deep red, closing the door quietly.

In that room was the two Uchiha's who went missing, totally naked, tied together, surronded by what looked like fangirls.

I open the third door preparing myself for what might be in there, in fact. I wasn't all that prepared.

In that room was some mutant guy with a lobster claw for a right arm.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!" The guys screams.

"Like hell if I'll ever tell you." Pein glares.

He looked pretty beat up, and I mean a lot.

"Tell me or I'll kill you!" The growls.

I sneak up behind him, Pein sees me, but acts like he dosen't.

I jump on the lobster claw guys back with a meta; bowl slamming him over the head, "PEDOPHILE!" I scream biting his shoulder.

He cries out in pain, and throws me off. I hit the wall hard.

"Heh, heh, heh. There you are." The guy growls.

"Here I am!" I joke standing up.

He suddenly grabs me by my shirt.

"HEY THIS IS MY FAV SHIRT!" I yell.

He dosen't let go, so I bit his lobster claw.

He scream loudly in pain and drops me.

I pause stunned.

"Uke?" Pein asks unsurely.

I get a funny look on my face, "Yumm... lobster.." I mumble.

"What?" The guy looks at me confused.

"FOOD!" I yell divning on him, biting into the lobster claw.

He starts trying to shake me off to no avail.

"NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

He finally throws me off, after I had eaten through half his shell.

"You little monster!" He screams, then disapears.

"Aww... I'm still hungry."

"My little cannibal." Pein mumbles sarcastically, getting up.

"Go, get outta here, I'm gonna go get the Uchiha's." I say blankly.

"Uke-"

"Don't Uke me. I'M gonna get them." I glare.

He gives me a look, "Fine."

I give a quick nod and dash off to the other room. With a shudder, I enter.

_The things I get myself into... _I think.


	13. Rescue part 2

**Resuce, part 2! With Suigetsu and Jugo! And Karin and Tobi!**

* * *

"So why again did the weakest member go by herself?" Jugo asks outloud.

"Don't know, but I didn't wanna be with her clumsy ass." Suigetsu adds.

They come to a door where a lot of giggling and yelling was coming from.

They exchange a glance, and Jugo pushes the door open quietly.

In the room, was Hidan tied up, surronded by fangirls.

"You fucking freaks!" He yells. "Let me the fuck outta here!"

"Bad boy!" One of the girls cackle cracking her whip at him.

"Fuck!" He yells again.

"The things he gets himself into..." Suigetsu mumbles.

A few girls look up and see him, then squeal with happiness.

"SUIGETSU-CHAN! JUGO-CHAN!" They cheer running to them.

The two both start fighting off the rabid fangirls.

* * *

"I wonder where they are...?" Tobi asks Karin.

"Most likely in one of these doors." She replies annoyed. _Why did Uke stick me with him?_

"How bout this one?" Tobi pushes a door open. "Nope, just a bunch of that red stuff Uke got on her,"

"Wait, look!" Karin hisses pointing at the blonde tied to a red head. "Go get them Tobi."

"What? This place is swarmed with freaks! You go get them!" Tobi protests.

"Well what if I don't WANT to go get them?" Karin argues.

"Well neither do I! SO go get them!"

"NO!"

"CRAP, UN!" Deidara yells in pain. "Evil bastards..."

"EEEE!" More girls squeal.

"Let's go torture Sasuke next!" One cheers.

"YEah!" Some agree.

"Nah, I'd rather stay with the blonde and the red-head."

"Now THAT'S where I cross the line!" Karin charges into the room with a kunai, killing a bunch of the girls.

"Well that's ONE way to solve it..." Tobi mumbles.

* * *

"Well that was easy..." Suigetsu mumbles, girls bodies surrond him.

"No duh, these are just a bunch of ordinary girls." Jugo adds.

"We'll ask Uke what they are when and if we see her again." Suigetsu goes to free Hidan.

"Where're you going?" Jugo questions.

He shoots up, and walks off. "I gotta freaks to kill, people to sacrifice."

"Oh... Kay..." Jugo mumbles as Hidan stalks off.

* * *

"Was that really necasarry?" Sasori asks as Karin unties them. Bodies litter the floor.

"Yep."Karin smirks. "They attacked me, so I attacked back."

"They're fangirls, un." Deidara pipes in. "Uke would call them, outta control bitches, un."

"You got that right." Sasori smirks. "Where is she by the way?"

"She went off by herself." Tobi chimes.

"And you LET her!" Sasori exclaims. "That was my guinea pig- I mean, scientific tester!"

"Riiight, un." Deidara rolls his eyes.

"Did you just... I'm gonna tell her you said that, Sasori." Karin teases.

"Oh, you better not." Sasori glares.

* * *

"Something tells me they're in here." Suigetsu points to a door that was wide open, and Sasori and Karin were arguing.

"Uh, where's Uke?" Jugo asks entering the room and interupting the fight.

"My Guniea- urm, UKE, is not here yet!" Sasori grumbles.

"Guinea...? As in pet?" Suigetsu looks at him skeptically.

"SHUT UP!" Sasori glares.

"Hey, I said nothing!" Shuigetsu holds up his hands defensively.

"I swear if she's maimed or killed..." Sasori grumbles.

"Didn't think you cared about her." Karin questions.

"He dosen't, un! That's his guinea pig!" Deidara laughs giving Sasori a look.

"We should probaly get out of here..." Hidan runs back into the room, just now oping out of Jashin mode.

"Why?" Jugo questions.

"Cause this place is just gonna be a bunch of rubble in a few minutes." He hisses back running out the room.

"WHAT!" Sasori yells going after him.

* * *

**RECAP:**

**I was going to save the Uchiha's...**

I pause by the door, then push it open slowly peeking in.

The Uchiha's had been moved to a higher up spot, half-clothed now, hanging above a gigantic tub of green stuff.

Not a single person was there.

"Well now where's the fun in that?" I complain entering the barren room. "Not. A single. Person."

"Uke?" Sasuke looks up.

"SHHH!" I shush him and start climbing up the side of the tub.

"Don't touch the liquid, it's some kinda toxic stuff that'll turn you into a freak." Itachi warns.

"Thanks for the info." I say as I get to the top.

"HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING UP THERE!" An angry girls voice screams.

I stick my tounge out to her and go back to figuring out how to free the Uchiha's.

Another voice lauhs a bit evilly, "I have finally found you, little girl..."

"Eh?" I turn around. "What is with all the distractions!" I yell fed up.

Some weird green thing comes flying at me, pulling me down to the ladies level.

"HOLY CRAP LADY!" I yell. "Your a FREAK!"

"WELL YOU DID THIS TO ME!" She hisses.

"Don't hiss at me, pedophile." I glare. "And I didn't do this to you."

"BAKA!" She throws me into a rock pillar, destroying it, ruble falls on me. "YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU TURNED ME INTO THIS.. THIS... FREAK!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!" I scream getting up.

"Hm, well if you fight back, your friends get dropped into that vat of toxic waste." She threatens.

"..." I smirk and step closer testing her. "What friends?"

Her smirk disapears, "Th-those friends!" She points a threatening finger.

"Those aren't my friends." I step closer.

"Then why're you here!"

"Cause I just LOVE seeing them being tortured!" I say sarcastically stepping even closer. "I was actually forced to come on this mission by my real friends."

"ARGH!" She presses a big red button in the remote she was holding.

Itachi and Sasuke start falling to the vat of toxic waste.

"NO Wait!" I scream out.

The jolt to a stop only 4 feet away from the goo.

"Heh, so you DO care for them." The lady lashes out one of her tentacles at me.

It felt worse than a whip.

I scream out in pain.

"Now you feel the pain I've been through!" She cackles throwing me around like a rag doll.

I stand up and run at her ready to throw a punch, when she holds up a remote. I stop, and glance at Sasuke and Itachi.

There's a bunch of rumbling suddenly.

All I see next is the ground, my head throbbing in pain.

The lady laughing like a maniac.

I bite her tentacle, and she throws me at the tank. I hit it with a loud thunk.

I curl up into a ball.

"Your gonna regret that."

And then... I get a plan.

Before I can even put it to action, she throws me at the ceiling. Hard. I somehow stick.

"Oh GAWD, Sasori! I'm loving you right now!" I cheer remembering his latest expirement on me. "RAHAHAHAHAHA!" I jump down as the lady pushes the button.

I grab the crane with one hand, the rope with the other.

"CRAAAAP, that HUUUURRTTSS!" I groan.

"I can see why?" Sasuke looks up at me.

Itachi looks at me to, and his eyes widen.

"Is it really that bad?" I wonder.

"See for yourself when we get back." Itachi mumbles.

"Argh!" I growl trying to get them away from the stuff, when the lady jumps up and hits me with her tentacle thing.

"DROP THEM! DROP THEM AND I'LL STOP!" She hisses.

"I SAID STOP HISSING AT ME!" I scream back.

She glares and throws a knife at me.

"GAH! BITCH! THE BITCH SHANKED ME! AHHH!" I scream in pain.

I swing myself and throw Itachi and Sasuke at her, knocking them all off the edge. I jump down and free the Uchiha quickly.

The rumbling gets louder.

"MISTRESS, MISTRESS! THE PALCE IS COLLAPSING- AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!" A fan girl runs in and then stares at me.

"NUNYA BIDNESS!" I scream angered, and extremly tired, losing blood.

"YOUR NOT getting away!" The lady scrreches wrapping one of her tentacles around my ankle.

I stomp on it. Hard.

She screams and lets go after 3 stomps.

I start running away, out the door, out the building.

* * *

The whole building is destroyed, the ground covering it collapses too.

Sasori stares in shock, "MY GUINEA PIG!" He yells.

"Guinea pig?" Hidan questions.

"Uke, un."

Hidan nods his head understanding.

Itachi and Sasuke run up, Itachi was carrying Uke, passed out and well... kinda unrecognizable. Cut, bruised, whipped, shanked, beaten, thrown, it changes the look of someone.

"M-m-my guinea pig..." Sasori stutters staring in disbelief.

"She's still alive, but we need to get her back to the base." Sasuke starts walking off. "I can't believe you let her go off by herself..." He adds to Karin and Suigetsu and Jugo.

* * *

My eyes flutter open, everything was kinda dim. Which ment I made it too the base alive.

I couldn't move at all, my whole body was either numb or sore.

I glance around to what I could see.

"She's awake." A voice says.

"Uke!" Another voice exclaims, squeezing me in a hug.

That black hair...

"Coal. To tight. Ouch."

"Sorry!" She says a bit sheepishly. "I was worried..."

"Uke?" A red head. "UKE!" Another hug, but much more quicker.

"Ummm..." Coal stares.

"Stop staring, it's annoying..." Some feeling comes to my arms, so I prop myself up, wincing in pain. "And get me a mirror, I wanna know what I look like."

"I really don't think-" Coal starts.

Then Deidara walks in, "No, let her see, un!"

A mirror is held up to me.

I stare for a moment not recognizing myself.

"I LOOK LIKE A GRAPE!" I yell noting the green and purple and blue bruises.

Other than bruises, there were cuts, whip marks, bite marks, burn marks, scars... gosh...

"I look like a DEFORMED grape!" I whine.

"Ahhh... it'll... heal?" Scarlet shrugs.

"None of the otehr members should know of this." Pein says entering.

I look up at him, and see what in his eyes?

Hate? Pain? Curiousness?

"How ya doin Uke-chan!" Tobi bounces in.

I bite my lip to keep from yelling, "How do you THINK I feel, Tobi?"

"Uhhh..." He just stares.

"I'm goin to sleep." I lay back down and fall asleep quickly.

Sometime later on, I coulda sworn I heard whispers and someone was touching my face.

That's very annoying people, don't do it. I bite your finger off!

* * *

I wake up in the morning groggy. I get up, trembling with pain. My whole body still ached.

I look around for a bit and throw on my usual clothes, Shorts and a T-shirt, then put my Akatsuki cloak over it all, only half buttoned up. To cover my bruises... at least most of them.

I stumble into the living room, to get some food.

I end up face down on the table, lying on a bunch of ice.

I mentally sigh, _YES! That feels sooooo goood..._

"Uke, what're you doing?" Kakuzu growls. "Your wasting ice."

"So? Freeze some more." I don't sit up.

"We could've used that."

"Don't start with me, Kuzu. I'm in a lotta pain..." I grumble.

"Yeah right." He flips me off the table.

I wrap my arms around myself and scream in pain, "KAKUZU! THAT HURTED! FUCKING, CRAP! AAHHHh!"

He just stares while I shake in pain.

That really did hurt, freaking tender ass bruises.

"What's her problem?"

"She got... hurt... un." Deidara picks me up and sits me on the couch, then walks off.

"I. HAte. Kakuzu." I grumble, glaring at the ground.


	14. In my MIND? WTH Sasori!

It's been a week now, and I can now walk without falling on something.

Well... just the usual trip on someone or something, clumsy me.

"Here, drink this..." Sasori hands me a vile of pale blue liquid.

I take it, "What exactly is it?"

"It's ... medicine."

"I don't believe a word you say."

"Well it is!"

"Thenn... YOU taste it first." I hold out to him.

He grumbles something, then says, "Fine, Uke. Fine."

He takes a sip, then twitches.

"See? Just... medicine..." He tosses it back to me.

"Fine, I'll drink it..." I grumble taking a sip, then almost throwing up. "oh YUCK! That's disgusting! What the hell did you just give me!"

He walks off without another word.

I suddenly feel really dizzy, so I deciede to sleep it off, knowing it was Sasori's potion.

* * *

I jolt awake, full of energy and feeling GREAT!

I jump outta bed(literally) and throw some clothes on, then go running into the front room.

Totally empty.

I start bouncing on the couch happily.

"LAla LAla LAla laLA LALALALA!" I sing.

"Note to self, energy potion makes you crazy.." Sasori mumbles walking into the room.

"I hate you Sasori!" I yell out. "You seriously need to stop testing things on me!"

He just shrugs and takes me off the couch, then carries me back to my room.

"At least it healed most of your cuts and bruises..."

"I swear Sasori, and other point in time, and you woulda been killed for witch craft!" I say outta nowhere.

* * *

I wake up my normal self. I get up and stretch, my body as stiff as ever.

"_Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy, I got my glasses I'm out the door I'm gonna hit this city..." _I hear the radio playing.

I again get dressed, and leave the room, my hair in pigtails.

"Mornin, Uke,un!" Deidara waves. "I see your better... and what's with your eye, un?"

"I'd... rather not talk about it." I mumble.

My eye was... cloudy grey. Just the left one though. There was an X in the corner of it, being all weird. It came right when I was 12.

Bullshit.

"See? She's fine!" Sasori points at me.

"Stop. Testing. On her." Sasuke glares.

"I'm with Sasuke on this one!" I call out. "Your tests have weird side-effects."

"At least stop with the potions." Sasuke adds.

"Fine... Uke c'mere!" He grabs my hand and leads me to the living room. "I need you to test this new thing!"

"Uh... ok..." I sit down on the couch next to Itachi.

"Your still playing guinea pig?" He teases with a smirk.

"Ehh... I'm not a guinea pig! ...I'm a dog."

He shakes his head, the smirk still on his face.

Could theses Uchiha be warming up to me... literally. They're always so cold to me.

Sasori attaches all these suction cup thingies to my chest, face, and arms.

"How again did you and Coal get Scarlet back?" Kisame asks out of the blue.

"Well... we were-"

"Hold on!" Sasori covers my mouth and flips a switch.

I feel a slight shock, then some stuff flickers alive on the TV screen.

More exactly, me beating the hell outta Orichimaru with a Sasuke plushie.

"Die SNake! Die! Diiiiie!" The Tv me screams.

"What the hell, un?" Deidara stares at the screen.

"What can I say, I hate Orichimaru." I shrug.

The screen flashes, then turns to an Akatsuki fan flash I had remembered at the time.

"Where's my ear! Whoes seen my ear!" Kakuzu scream running around the screen. "Have you seen my ear!" He yells at Hidan.

I laugh.

.com/watch?v=xjnYBbf0Svg&feature=related

By the end most peole are laughing, except of course for the people in it!

Another comes to mind.

"OMG I LUV THIS ONE, IT'S SO KAWAII!" Coal yells pointing to the screen.

.com/watch?v=H1_lRHhHcJg

"You people are INSANE, un!" Deidara points out.

"Your insane Mr. I-Have-Mouths-On-My-Hands!" Scarlet shotos back.

"NEW ONE!" I yell as Pein walks in and stares at me hooked up to the TV.

"Sasori... what the hell is she doign?"

"New expirement! Sees inside your mind!" Sasori explains.

.com/watch?v=uzXvAeEoD3s&feature=related

"What... the... fuck..." Hidan stares.

"PEIN'S IN IT!" I yell out.

"Why don't you remember something useful?" Sasuke and Itachi spites.

I glare, not even knowing what was going on screen.

.com/watch?v=H1_lRHhHcJg

Coal and Scarlet laugh.

"Oh GAWD! I luv this one!" Coal laughs.

I turn to the screen and laugh with them.

"Again. I said something useful." Itachi repeats.

Again with the glare.

On screen, was me taking a ragged stuffed bunny and beating Itachi and Sasuke with it.

"You have a twisted mind." Sasuke points out.

"Shut your effing mouth Uchiha!" I scream throwing a pillow his way.

"Wooow, that hurted sooo badly!" He says sarcastically.

"Shut up." I watch TV.

"How again did you get Scarlet back?" He asks the earlier question.

"Well..." I quickly remeber and watch the screen.

_Me and Coal were wlaking through the forest boredly heading towards Konoha. We had on our Akatsuki cloaks that went down to our knees, and were much more form fitting than the normal ones._

_It was to quiet for my liking._

_"Ah-huh! This my shit! All the girls stomping feet like this!" I sing._

_"Few times been- AHHHH!" Coal ducks own as a bunch of kunai come flying our way._

_I just stare confusedly, then hear Scarlets shouts of protest._

_"Oi, I'd recognize all them shouts from anywhere..." Coal mumbles atdning up. "Thats Scarlet."_

_"No shit." I walk to the source of it._

_We see Team 7 in the forest using Scarlet for target practice._

_"Cut that shit out!" She screams ducking some from Sasuke._

_"That's where I cross the line!" I yell-whisper._

Everyone knows I have something against Sasuke.

_I jump onto him and don't let go yelling, "RAHAHHAHA! ALL SHALL FEAR THE ALMIGHTY GURLS! SCREW YOU SASUKE!"_

_"Who the hell?" He sits up._

_"HEY! That's that violent girl from before!" Naruto points out._

_"I'm not violent! You were kidnapping me!" I protest getting off of Sasuke._

_"Kakashi-sensei, c'mere!" Sakura whines._

_"You pink-haired bitch! Shut your fucking mouth!" I punch her upside the head like she did Naruto._

_She rubs her head in pain._

_"Now you know how Naruto-kun feels!" Coal adds laughing. _

_"Yeah, yeah." Kakashi mumbles. "I'm coming." _

_"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Me and Coal yell cracking up._

_We get some confused stares._

_Kakashi grabs my arm._

_"AHHHH! RAPE! RAPE!" I scream freaked, yep I was actually freaked. "I'M BEING RAPED BY AND OLD GUY WHO READS SMUTT! HELP!"_

_"Shut up, I'm not gonna rape you." He glares._

_"PEDOPHILE! MOLESTER! CHILD-MOLESTER! PORN-STAR! AHHHH!" I scream._

_He says nothing._

_Naruto was close to laughing, Sakura was snickering, Sasuke was just staring at Coal and me._

_"You look awfully familiar..." Kakashi finally says. "That orange ahired fellow I saw a few days ago..."_

_I twitch annoyed._

_"YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH PEDOPHILER! HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO A FUCKING GUY!" I scream beating him into a bloody pulp on the ground. "I'LL MURDER YOU!"_

_"UKE! Stop that! He's Kakashi and old, so his eye sight is bad!" Coal jokes pulling me off._

_"Fine..." I grumble crossing my arms._

_"Let's go Scarlet, I'm sick of being here! Itachi's more nicer than Kakashi-teme!" I grumble._

_"Itachi?" Sasuke looks up._

_"Ehhhh..." Coal gives me a look. "You and your big mouth..."_

_"WHAT!" i protest. "I do not!"_

_"It's not like they can catch us." Scarlet mumbles walking away._

_"I know right?" I agree walking off._

_"This forest!" Coal complains after a few minutes of walking. "Why is it so big!"_

_I burst out laughing._

_"Thats what she said!" SCarlet chimes._

* * *

"You guys are so weird..." Sasori mumbls closing his eyes.

"YAOI!" Coal yell-whispers into my ear.

"I don't remeber any." I complain outloud.

"Then lemme try!"

"NO!" I push her away. "I like this! Its like blackmail, and you can prove it!"

"What blackmail could you possibly have, un?" Deidara asks.

I smirk, then go back to the day when I tripped Sasuke into Itachi and they KISSED.

I started laughing after seeing everyones face considering I just showed the kissing part, not the tripping.

"OK Sasori, I'm done with this, let me free." I smile.

"Uh... ok?" Sasori shrugs and lets me free.

I stretch out some, notcing the things he hooked up to me left marks.

"Everything you test on me leaves marks, Sasori!" I whine.

He laughs sheepishly.

"Bastard." I mumble under my breath and go to the fridge.

"..." Pein catches my look. "Don't yell."

"What the hell happened to all the food!" I say trying to keep my voice down.

"It got eaten." He answers bluntly.

"Well where do we get more from!"

"Your world, and your yelling." He points out.

"URhHHH1!" I complain stomping out the room.

My stomach growls loudly as I walk past the living room.

"Bottomless pit, un."

"Well there's no more food, and I haven't been able to eat cause that freak lady shanked me!" I protest.

"Yeah, ya got me there, un."

"mm-hmm!" I nod my head. "I don't even know her and she blames me for her freakiness." I mumble.


	15. Clumsy me hmph

"Dumbass!" Coal throws a pillow at me. "Your so damn clumsy!"

I duck, "I'm not clumsy if I did it on purpose!" I shoot back.

"Fucktard!"

"Emo bastard!"

_Ok, let's rewind._

_Coal was sitting on the couch, cuddled up next to Sasuke, mumbling something._

_I was in one of my bored moods._

_So I took a huge glass full ice and milk(bleh) then walked into the living room. I then "tripped" and spilled it all over the two lovers._

"..." I stare boredly. "I'm bored again."

I walk off without another word, Sasuke and Coal glaring daggers at me.

_If looks could kill..._I think bitterly. _If looks could kill, I'd been dead the first day this started..._**[A/N: That is so true.]**

* * *

**~~Ultra time skip of DOOM~~~**

We were back in my world, cause Scarlet was having her baby, Konan already had hers last week. =w=

I got left in charge of taking care of Konan's baby.

HIS name was Akemi.**[A/N: Oh the irony! You'll see why later on!]**

Pein said he was gonna use some weird jitsu to change there ages to like 7 or something... i don't know.

"Hey there Akemi... god. Why must you look so much like me?" I complain. "Ya could've at least been a girl and looked like me!"

Akemi just stares, as if he was listening.

"Don't look at me like that!" I grumble looking away.

He continues staring.

"Stop staring!" I whine.

Not. A thing.

"DUDE! Stop staring at me!" I set him down and walk away.

"Are you seriously telling a baby to stop staring at you, un?" Deidara walks in.

"Oh shut up, I hate being stared at!" I grumble back.

"And then your complaining to it... him, un."

"Shut up Deidara!" I throw my hands up and go back to the baby with a bottle.

"Why oh why did you have to look like me!" I complain again.

Akemi has orange hair and blue eyes, a faint blush that's always on his cheeks. His hair was slightly spiked(I wonder who caused that?*sarcasm*)...

I go into my own thoughts for awhile, crying snaps me outta it.

I looked a bit confused when I saw it wasn't Akemi.

"Eh?" I look up and see Scarlet stumbling through the door, a few others following.

"Hey there, is it a boy or a girl?" I ask forgetting.

"Both..." Scarlet huffs plopping down on the couch.

"Huh?"

I don't get an answer cause she falls asleep.

"What does she mean by both?" I repeat.

"Twins, dumbfuck. Twins." Itachi glares.

I snicker and try to keep from laughing.

_Oh the poor Uchiha! He dosen't know what hit em! _ I think happily.

Again with the crying.

It surprises me and I jump back.

"Crap... baby scared me..." I mumble.

Then look around to see he was gone.

Tobi had him... is that good or bad?

The baby was screaming its little heart out.

I quickly take Akemi and walk away, he stops crying.

"Looks like SOMEONE dosen't like Uchiha's..." I mumble.

"Well that was only Tobi, try another Uchiha." Coal proests.

I hand Akemi off to her, and she ges hit in the face with a rattle.

I laugh at her and her shocked expression.

"Take. Him. Back." She glares.

"Don't be mad cause you found the first baby in history to hate you!" I laugh taking a giggly Akemi back.

"Konan! Come take Akemi! I'm tired!" I yell out to where ever she went.

"Stop yelling, Uke."

"Sorry." I hand Akemi off to her, then plop on the couch next to Scarlet to catch some sleep.

Did I mention we were inside a hotel room... without paying... so... illegally?

* * *

"Why do we have to wake up?" I mumble into the pillow to whoever was shaking me.

"Just get up." A voice I can't recognize.

"Go away or I'll bite your finger off!" I mumble louder.

There's a pause, then I'm flipped off the bed.

"RAH!" I hit the floor face first, I lay there annoyed.

There's a sigh, "Get up, Uke!" Now a females voice.

"No, I'm sleeping." I say to the floor.

"For fucks sake, I SWEAR, you are the laziest person in the WORLD!" The lady now drags me across the floor.

What I thought odd was: Why don't I recognize that voice.

Well I wasn't about to sit up and find out.

We go across a bump in the doorway, that makes me sit up. "If your gonna drag me at least... least... uhm..." I let out a bloody-murder scream as I see who it is.

One of those fangirl henchman...or henchgirl... for those freaks i tried to eat.

"Who the fuck are you?" Hidan walks in, a towel around his waist.

"Crap, Mitzumi! I thought you said the palce was empty!" One girl.

"SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS!" A louder voice sounding a bit freaked out.

"A little HELP Hidan?" I call out from my spot on the ground.

With tha, I'm dropped and the girls run away.

"..." I rub my head, on which I was dropped on.

"You mus be one speacial girl, Uke." Hidan stretches out the word 'one'...

"I am not." I grumble.

* * *

The next day, I was extra clumsy for WHATEVER reason... and it hurted.

We were back at the base by the way.

First, I woke up and slipped on oil cause Tobi spilled it leaving a trail to his room.

Then as I was coming up the stairs, I slipped down and fell backwards.

Oh yeah, and I fell headfirst into Hidan's dirty clothes basket. Ew.

Lastly, I'm probaly gonna die now.

Wanna know why?

Cause clumsy ol' me tripped on some baby toys... right into Sasuke.

But the MAIN reason I'm might die is because when I fell and tripped, I accidently kissed Sasuke... O.o I need to go boil my mouth.

At the time, I was just recovering from it, getting up off of Sasuke... quickly...

I stare a bit freaked, sitting on the ground.

Then Tobi's voice rings through, "Ooooooooo! I'm TEEEELING!"

"WHAT! NO NO NO NUU!" I chase after Tobi quickly.

Spending 5 minutes running around the house, I trip on Deidara's out-stretched foot.

I quickly loose sight of Tobi, "AHHHH NOOOO! COAL'S GONNA KILL ME!" I yell then turn on Deidara. "If I'm goin down, your goi down with me!" I growl.

"What the hell are you talking about, un?"

"Something kinda happened between me and Sasuke and if she finds out, she's gonna kill me!"

"Stop being dramatic, un..."

"I'm NOT being dramatic! I hugged the boy she liked in 4th grade, and she knocked me off the top of a tree, putting me in a coma for a WEEK!" I then whine. "I don't WANNA die!"

Deidara backs away slowly.

I spot Tobi again, "TOBI! GET OUVER HERE!" I scream tackling him to the ground just as Coal was walking passed.

"HEy Coal! Uke and Sasuke-"

"SHUT IT TOBI!" I start bashing his head in the gruond in an attempt to shut him up.

"Uke and Sasuke... did what?" Coal asks supiciously.

"NOTHING!" I yell working my hand under his mask and covering his mouth. "OWW! HE bite me!"

"Uke and Sasuke k-"

"SHUT IT!" I cover his mouth again and drag him into the narest room, which was the bathroom. I lock the door and take a deep breath.

"Oh gawd... that was close... do you WANT me to die, Tobi!" I throw the bar of soap at him, which he easily dodges.

"B-But! Coal-kawaii needs to know!" Tobi protests.

"Oh no she dosen't!" I protest back.

"But she does!"

"If she does, I die!"

"..."

"I thought so." I leave the bathroom tired out.

"So what's goin on?" Coal asks nonchlantly.

"I'm gonna go boil my mouth..." I mumble so she wouldn't hear.

I walk into the front room looking a mess, everyone just HAD to be in there, except of course Tobi, Pein, and Konan.

"Woah, you look like you just got hit by a train!" Sasori points out. "...you didn't did you?"

"No, I didn't so your free to test on me!" I say sarcastically. I notice he took it literally, so I add. "When I'm in the mood."

"So what happened?"

"Tobi... Sasuke... and me happened." I say making sure Coal was nowhere near.

"Ok, that's the most blunt way you've put something all day!" He grumbles.

"Yeah well I don't wanna say it outloud, I'll get killed..."

* * *

5 minutes later and it was awfully quiet.

Not even Tobi was making noise. Everyone was just relaxing watching TV with me(except for Tobi who was somewhere).

Then the peacefulness was broken.

"UUUUKEEEE!" Coal screams from like halfway across the base.

I shrink back, then hide behind Sasuke and Itachi. "I'm begging you to stay there!" I hiss.

Thankfully they do.

"UKE, I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU, AND THIS TIME I AIN'T GIVEN MERCY!" She screams again.

Told ya she had a jealousy problem.

But she's knows I'm clumsy! She really does! I've done that same move to a hobo from tripping on my shoelaces! C'mon, is she really that jealous! ...I think Tobi told her another way.

"Where is she?" She yells coming into the living room.

An awkward silence then Tobi just HAS to come in!

"There she is!" Tobi points.

I rise out from behind the two Uchiha's and glare at him.

"I'm. Gonna. Kill you." I glare a Tobi.

He just stares... i think... stupid mask.

"Uke, I can't believe you!"

"What! What did I do!" I fall of the couch. "You know I'm clumsy!"

"Your clumsyness has NOTHING to do with this!"

"It kinda does..." I mumble. "Whatever Tobi told you was a LIE!"

"Like I BELIEVE YOU! HOW DARE YOU MAKE-OUT WITH SASUKE!"

"Make out with- the hell?" I punch Tobi upside the head. "Coal. I want you to REALLY think about what you just said, and then think about the ways I feel towards Sasuke. Why would I go form Hating him to loving him? His ok to me right now... RIGHT NOW..." I put some extra emphasis on right and now. "Why in the HELL would i make out with him. I TRIPPED and fell into him! Like the day with the hobo!"

She relaxes some then fires up again, "TOBI! You woke me up for some lie! Oh just you wait... I'm gonna getcha... it may not be today... it may not be tommorow... an dit may not be yesterday! But it WILL happen!" She stalks off.

"YES! I get to live longer!" I cheer from behind the couch.

"You and your friends are agressive, un..." Deidara mumbles.

"Shut it. At least we're not suicidal!" I glare at him, then Sasori for no apparent reason.


	16. Dead meat

"Akemi! Get back here!" I chase after the little boy Konan gave birth to a few weeks ago.

Pein used some jitsu to advance Akemi's growth to a 7 year old.

He's a smart 7 year old too!

I grab him by his arms and lift him up off the ground. He SCREAMS.

I drop him and cover my ears. That's the THIRD time.

Why was I stuck here with these two brats! I'm not there mom, there aunt, or there nanny, so why me!

Because Scarlet's finding them a school, Konan's shopping with Pein. Others either refused to help or were on a mission.

OH yes, the OTHER little monster.

Scarlet's twin girl. Mizu. The little brat keeps biting and tripping me!

Her twin BOY is nice and quiet, like Itachi, and I'm LOVING every bit of it! His name is Mitzumi.

"Mizu! Akemi! Where are you!" I walk down the stairs, and in a flash I'm at the bottom of steps, face first.

_I'm gonna kill Mizu. _Were the first thoughts in my head.

**_Then Scarlet will kill YOU_**

_Who the hell are you and WHAT are you doing in my head!_

**_I'm your innner, dumbass..._**

_My inner's so mean..._

**_Hi there!_**

_AHHHH! Who're you!_

**_Your second inner, silly!_**

**_Your a bipolar._**

_Am not!_

**Yo. I'm your third inner.**

_Ok, so maybe I AM bipolar... *sigh*_

"Uke-sempai! Are you ok?" Mitzumi pokes my face.

Great, I'm being asked if I'm ok by a 7 year old. Am I REALLY that weak?

"The 'X' in your eye is gone." He points.

"Thank you for pointing out my freakish eye." I say sarcastically.

He just shrugs and goes back to the couch to watch TV.

"Hey there Uke-sempai!" Mizu teases.

"Go... Away..." I glare, then get a new idea. I grab her arm tightly, then go to the kitchen for some duct tape.

First I wrap up her legs... then her arms... and the rest of her body. I leave her head free.

"Uke! Lemme go! I'm telling mommy on you!" She protests as I carry her back to the living room.

"I'm not afraid of your mom." I shrug and set her on the floor, then tape her mouth shut.

She continues her screams of protests, before I put some tape over her mouth.

I then look to Akemi who was trying to sneak through the room, "Sit down and watch TV, or else you end up like Mizu here."

He gives a quick nod, then sits down obediantly.

I flop back on the couch t catch some Z's... but everyone came pouring through the door.

I glare at them all for interupting my sleep.

"Uke! Why the hell is Mizu tied in duct tape!" Scarlet yells.

"She was playing with it while i was knocked out form her tripping me down the stairs." I shrug. "I swear, these kids are gonna be the death of me..."

"They sure will if you don't stop abusing them!" She threatens.

"What? WHAT! ME abuse THEM! Its more like the other way around!" I protest.

"How do I know your not LYING!"

"Check the stairs for toys and blood." I mumble dryly.= walking off to be alone for the time being.

Akemi, for WHATVER reason, tags along.

"Uke! Uke! Uke!" He repeats my name over and oevr until we get to our room. "Uke-nii chan!" That's what catches my attention.

"What?"

"Your eyes!" He points. "They're grey! Both of them now! And there's no 'X'!"

I guess I looked surprised so he said, "What? Just a surprised look? No snotty come back?"

"No...not this time..." I disapear into my room and take a look at my eyes in the mirror. "Holy Crap, he wasn't lying..."

With a quick pause, I get some siccors. I cut my bangs so they were covering both my eyes. I looked almost eyeless.

"Perfect." I mumble laying down to catch some Z's.

* * *

**~~~1 week later~~~**

"Wait! Why do I have to baby sit them all them time!" I protest as people start filing out the door. "What am I? There Nanny! ...Don't answer that."

"One, because your the only one I trust outta all these phsyco's," Scarlet explains. "And two, people seem to be after you, so I really don't think you should leave the base with your clumsy ass."

I glare at her as she turns away and leaves.

At least the 2 monsters and second Itachi are sleep. I kick back for the time being, then...

Crap. I fell asleep! AHHH!

And the house was pretty quiet... Argh, Scarlet's gonna KILL me! And then so will Konan! Maybe even Pein and Itachi too! AHHH!

**CALM THE FUCK DOWN, WOMAN!**

**Hehehe~! I heard an explosion earlier over near the kids room!**

_Inner...2?_

**Yeah?**

_I'm gonna kill you for not telling me this earlier!_

I jump up and head for the kids rooms.

"C'mon! Please be there! Please be there in one piece!" I quietly beg. "Please just be the monsters playing with Deidara's bombs! Please!"

No such luck.

Blood. Everywhere. Room? Ruined... a huge HOLE in the wall AGH! I'm gonna die, I just know it! I lost 3 little 7 year olds with agreesive parents!

"FUUUCK!" I scream running out the hole in the wall, following drag marks... and BLONDE hair... none of the kids had blonde hair!

PROOF:

Akemi: Orange hair

Mizu: Red hair

Mitzumi: Black hair

...it's like an emo rainbow...

I follow the tracks quickly, deeper and deeper into the forest to who knows where?

* * *

I finally come to a huge cave-house. Kinda like the Akatsuki base, but screams were coming from the inside.

Kid screams.

"UKE-SEMPAI!" Mizu's high-pitched voice.

I have a sudden, scary realization: If the kids are hurt to badly, they'll find out, and I'll be a train wreck again.

I hold back some yells of shock and run into the cave full speed. Listening for Mizu's screams.

"Shut it, kid!" A teasing high voice. The voice of a fangirl hench...girl? The sound of a whip cracking, the crying gets louder.

I pull out a kunai and barge into the room.

I was a bit shocked, the kid in here was Mitzumi. I had NEVER seen him show ANY emotion, let alone crying.

The fangirl gasps in shock, "Head Mis-"

I cut her throat impulsively, then kinda like stare down at the girl while she was dying. Hey, my mind was still on the fact that I was gonna be OBLITERATED if any of the parents found out.

Mitzumi looks away from me, which was rather hard to do chained to a wall by your arms and legs.

I set him free(after finding the key in the fangirls... cleavage) and told him to hide in a broken tree outside while I get the other two.

He gives a quick nod then looks up at me, "Will you be OK?"

"Here? Yes, totally. Back at home? Maybe not..." I partly joke.

He gives a little laugh, "Well, then that's normal." He runs off before I can say anything else.

I shake my head and rub my temples, going to search for the other two kids.

I walked halfway down the corrider until I FINALLY got to a door that had what I was looking for... at least one of the things.

This time was Akemi.

Scarlet's gonna kill me... unless someone beats her to it.

I sneak into the room. His eyes were closed, his head sagging to one side. He was COVERED in whip marks! AGH!

I quickly cut the ropes holding him and hold him bridal style.

"C'mon Akemi, wake up!" I say urgently.

"N-No more..." He whimpers barely opening his eyes. "P-Please..."

First time he ever said please.

"Open your eyes." I whisper.

He opens them a little more, and a small smile birghtens his face, "Uke!" He yell-whispers.

"SHHH! Go to the front with Mitzumi! I'm gonna go find Scarlet!"

"She's in the room by the water fountain, at the very end of the second corrider." He says quickly then stares at me for awhile.

"What's with the stares?" I ask setting him down.

"I just... wanna recognize your face before Scarlet gets to you..." He says nonchalantly walking down the corrider.

"Yeah, that makes me feel MUCH better, Akemi! Thanks a lot!" I say sarcastically.

**Scarlet's gonna maime you, not kill you.**

_Yes, and that's makes me feel GREAT, inner..3... by the way, that was sarcasm._

I keep walking down the corrider, until I come to a HUMONGUS water fountain. Screams come from a door next to me.

"SOP IT! I SWEAR WHEN UKE-SEMPAI GETS HERE, SHE'S GONNA HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!" She screams.

"Oy..." I mumble.

"I'm serious, I don't remember her eating ANYTHING today."

"Thanks for reminding me." I mumble dryly as my tummy growls. I enter the room, 4 sets of eyes on me.

1 was Mizu's, 2 others were fanboy henchmen, and the last was that tentacle lady from last time. She had blonde hair.

"Yo! I saw all yer hair on the way here! Are ya really that old?" I joke smirking. "And maybe I WILL eat you for breakfast! I like seafood, I really do!"

"Get away from me!" The lady hisses, I'm gonna call her TL for Tentacle Lady,... ew, now I'm reminded of yaoi and hentai!

I get a look at Mizu and say, "Ok, Scarlet won't notice that. I'll just tell her you fell down the steps."

Mizu looks away, not saying a word, for once.

I walk over to her, keeping a close eye on TL.

"So... where's the key?" I ask curiously.

She whips a key out her cleavage- what is WITH people here sticking stuff in there junk!- and hands it to one of the fanboys who sticks it-you guessed it- down his pants.

I twitch with annoyance that i was gonna have to get the key one way or the other.

"Awww? Is the little Uke to modest to get the key?" TL teases.

I WAS to modest, and easily embarrased at most. I would never ever EVER- I did it. I tackled the boy, stuck my hand down there and grabbed the key quick as possible.

Then freed Mizu, running full speed.

"Look how RED she is!" TL teases. "She must really love these children!"

* * *

I get outside and then I wish I didn't because I saw the full extent to the little kids' damages.

"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die." I chant banging my head into a tree.

"It'll be ok, Uke-sempai!" Mitzumi tries to cheer me up.

"Scarlet's gonna KILL me! Just LOOK at you and SCarlet! How come Akemi was hurt as much! He just has a mark across his stomach!"

Akemi turns around and moons me.

"...and his ass... ergh..." I rub my temples feeling a splitting head ache again.

"Let's go home now, ok!" Mizu grabs my hand and tugs.

* * *

I sit on the couch with the kids, rubbing burn cream and rash cream on them, hoping it would make the marks go away. It didn't, because since when do things go MY way!

First Sasori, Tobi, and Deidara enter and go into the kitchen without a second glance. Then Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu. They pause real quick, then quickly keep going snickering. I didn't see Zetsu come in, which I usually don't. Coal and Sasuke get an eye full of me and the kids then quickly run off mumbling something about, avoiding hell.

Then comes in hell. Itachi, Scarlet, Pein, and Konan.

They freeze and all stare at us in shock.

"Uke... what happened...?" Itachi growls walking up to me.

"Uhhh..." I stare. He looked pretty pissed off that his children were covered in whip marks. "Well... the kids..."

"We got kidnapped by these chicks dressed like skanks!" Mizu announces giggling.

I shrink back as Scarlet steps forward glaring, flames practically surronding her and Itachi.

"And they tortured us with whips and chains and they tried to drown Mizu!" Akemi adds lifting up his shirt to show the marks on his stomach.

_And now I'm gonna die... _I sigh mentally.

"All because Uke fell asleep!" Mitzumi adds jumping up.

"NOW of ALL times you wanna speak!" I exclaim resisting the urge to hit him.

He just shrugs.

"My babies... were whipped and drowned and captured... because you... fell asleep?" Scarlet growls, her eyes darkening.

Itach's eyes widen and he steps back, along with Pein and Konan.

_I should probaly run now..._

"UKe! I'm gonna KILL you!" She screams lunging at me.

I scream too, but more in fear, and jump off the couch. Running full speed away from Scarlet.

"Get your ass back over here!" She screams as I run onto the training grounds.

Bombs were going off... stupid Deidara.

"AAAHH! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I yell dodging bombs.

"Sorry dosen't cut it! You and your sleeping habits!" She screams throwing a bomb from SOMEWHERE. "I'll make it so you never sleep AGAIN!"

I scream again and jump into the trees running hard in fast.

"Ergh! She's like an angry mother bear!" I grumble to myself. "Boy do I HATE kids."

* * *

She caught me. It took her 4 days to do it, but she caught me.

Now I'm half awake. No. Half ALIVE in the infirmary. Everyone else was sleep.

"I will never again... babysit children..." I gurgle in pain. I couldn't even fall asleep cause SOMEONE gave me a big black eye that hurt to close.

"I'm sure you won't be anytime soon." A voice I couldn't recognize.

"Itachi, if that's you to finish me off. I'd like to be fed first." I grumble annoyedly turning over.

A light chuckle. "No actually it's Sasuke. The less... hostile one..."

"Great to see you..." I say half-sarcastically. Mainly cause he's one of the few people that haven't hurt me in any way, made some fucked up jokes, or been payed by Scarlet to drop me off the top of the base.

"Hn." There's that sound again. "So can you move yet?"

"I can sit up if that's what you mean." I sit up slowly and lean on the bed to demonstrate.

"Typical you, healing a lot faster than anyone else would." He smirks.

"After really meeting you... I like you better than Itachi..." I mumble unwilling.

No reply.

"Sasuke?" I look around the dark, seeing nothing out of my ONE eye. "Hm."

"You changed your hair..." He finally says.

"So?"

"Why?"

"To cover my eyes..."

"Why?" He asks again.

"Cause they turned grey..." I mumble laying back down. "It makes me look like a freak."

"Around here? Yeah right, it takes a lot to be a freak." He chuckles. "But your purple and blue skin and black eye makes you look a lot more freakish."

"Yeah, that's real nice..." I mumble, done talking to the SANE Uchiha, who didn't let his girlfriend halfway kill me.

"I see your done talking... it's to bad you can't eat..."

"WHAT!" I shoot up surprised.

"One of the many times she stabbed you cut through your stomach slightly. You can't eat." He restates with a faint smirk.

"URGH!" I grumble falling back down onto the bed. "I'm gonna STARVE to death!"

"Only half to death." He shrugs getting up to leave.

"I'm already half dead, I'd be fully dead after starving half to death!" I correct.

"Your fun talking too." He mumbles leaving.

Wait. Did I hear that right! Probaly just the Novocain kicking in again.


	17. Flashbacks

**Ok, so i'm a bit stuck for the next chapter cause all these things and stories keep cluteering my mind, so I'm gonna get rid of some of that clutter with this chapter: FLASHBACKS! Oh yeah, and some video's from Uke's past too!**

* * *

_**Thoughts...  
**"speech"..._

* * *

_Video:_

_First grade:_

_Uke stands on stage annoyed, she was the skunk for the school play. She didn't even want to do this stupid thing._

_She prances around on stage to the beat of the music "stealing" props from the "happy little flowers and other good animals" _

_"I hate this." She grumbles picking up a half-eaten cake. "This play is stupid." She says bitterly._

_She trips and falls face first into the stage, she sits up looking totally unhurt, then she starts fake crying. **Best plan ever!**_

_She's taken off stage and her understudy takes her place._

* * *

_**Flashback:**_

_They run full speed back to the portal, once in the safety of there world, Pein turns to a new member named, Momo._

_ **Where's...Katana? **He thinks._

_He stares with a blank look, "Momo...?"_

_"Y-Yes, leader-sama?"_

_"Where's Katana?"_

_Konan's head shoots up as she see's her baby nowhere._

_"I-I-I forgot to get her from the daycare..." Momo looks down at the ground._

_"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Konan screams grabbing the poor guy by his cloak. "YOU LEFT MY BABY BACK THERE! WHAT IF SHE GETS KILLED! WHAT IF SOMEONE TAKES HER AWAY! THEN WHAT WILL WE DO!" _

_She starts beating the living hell out the guy._

_Elsewhere~~~_

_A lone 6 year old sit in a corner sobbing._

_"Honey, where are your parents at?" The daycare lady walks up to her._

_"I-I-I don't kn-know!" She yells between sobs._

_"hmmm..." The lady looks at her with concern._

_Akatsuki base~~~~_

_Pein vents his anger on Momo's partner and the training equipment, considering Momo was already dead._

_"That. Little. Bastard. Left. My child. Back there." He growls between punches. "I hope. He. Burns. In. Hell!"_

_He lets out an unhuman scream._

* * *

**Flashback:**

_The 4 and a half little girl wobbles into the room. Two people surrond her._

_She has no idea what was going on, or the fact that it was bad. **Who the heck are they? **She thinks confusedly._

_"We've finally got you!" The lady says._

_"Little Katana..." The guy growls._

_She stares at them with the same look her dad always uses: bored and annoyed at the same time._

_She walks curiously up to the big glowing tank, her scepter in hand._

_"Katana!" Her mom yells dashing into the room._

_"Mummy?" She turns around._

_The lady quickly grabs her and holds a knife to her neck._

_Katana(uke) stares angirly at the lady holding her._

_"Put me down, chick!" She yells._

_"Come any closer and I'll kill her!" The lady threatens._

_Konan stops dead in her tracks._

_"I. Want. MUmmy!" Katana growls._

_"Shut it carrot top, no one cares what you want." The guy hisses._

_"I WANT MUMMY AND DADDY! NOW!" She screams swinging her little scepter._

_Blue and purple chakra and electricty come flowing out of it._

_Within seconds, the two olders holding her hostage were badly scarred._

_"What the hell happnend...?" The guy grumbles struggling to get up._

_"I happened..." Katana hisses at the two, before running to her mom happily._

_"Oh Katana... my little monster..." Konan cooes hugging her baby._

_There's a large crack. Konan looks up in time to see the vat of glowing substance explode open. She uns fast, heading for the exit to get away form the toxic waste._

_"Mmmmm? Where's Daddy?" Katana asks still unaware to what was happening._

_"He's out in the forest with your blanket..." Konan sighs happily getting out the cave._

* * *

**Video:**

_Uke stands on stage, heart fluttering. **I can't believe I'm going this... I'm a 5th grader! I'm not spose to be in the middle school talent show! Ahhhh! **She mentally freaks._

_The music starts, and she closes her eyes, literally shaking._

_"You made me insecure, told me i wasn't good enough.  
But who are you to judge, when your a diamon in the rough.  
I'm sure you got some things, you'd like to change about yourself.  
But when it comes to me, i wouldn't wanna be anybody else!_

_Na na na_

_Na na na  
_  
_I'm no beauty queen  
I'm just beautiful me_

Na na na  
Na na na

You've got every right  
To a beautiful life  
C'mon

Who says  
Who says you're not perfect  
Who says you're not worth it  
Who says you're the only one that's hurting  
Trust me  
That's the price of beauty  
Who says you're not pretty  
Who says you're not beautiful  
Who says

It's such a funny thing  
How nothing's funny when it's you  
You tell 'em what you mean  
But they keep whiting out the truth  
It's like a work of art  
That never gets to see the light  
Keep you beneath the stars  
Won't let you touch the sky

_Na na na_  
_Na na na_

_I'm no beauty queen_  
_I'm just beautiful me_

_Na na na_  
_Na na na_

_You've got every right_  
_To a beautiful life_  
_C'mon_

_Who says_  
_Who says you're not perfect_  
_Who says you're not worth it_  
_Who says you're the only one that's hurting_  
_Trust me_  
_That's the price of beauty_  
_Who says you're not pretty_  
_Who says you're not beautiful_

_Who says_  
_Who says you're not start potential_  
_Who says you're not presidential_  
_Who says you can't be in movies_  
_Listen to me, listen to me_  
_Who says you don't pass the test_  
_Who says you can't be the best_  
_Who said, who said_  
_Won't you tell me who said that_  
_Yeah, oh_

_Who says_  
_Who says you're not perfect_  
_Who says you're not worth it_  
_Who says you're the only one that's hurting_  
_Trust me_  
_That's the price of beauty_  
_Who says you're not pretty_  
_Who says you're not beautiful " Uke stares out at the crowd, then runs off the stage freaked at all the staring._

* * *

_First day of Kindergarden..._

_"My dadies a firefighter!" A young boy who goes by the name of Christaphor cheers._

_"My daddy's a doctor! He takes great care of me!" A girl whoes name was Christina, but everyone calls her Chris jabs a thumb at herself. _

_"Heh, well MY daddy's a vet! He takes care of cute little animals!" A loud girl named Tammy laughs._

_A few eyes turn on Uke._

_"Hey Uke!" Tammy points. "What does YOUR daddy do!"_

_Uke stares in shock. She didn't even know where her daddy was. How was she spose to know what he did._

_"Um..." She stands up confidently. "MY daddy's a secret agent, spaceman, ninja!"_

_There's "oohs" and "ahhs" at high fives at the lie she thought up._

_She walks off knowing she was gonna be a great liar._

* * *

_Meeting Coal..._

_"I'm a third grader..." Uke mumbles walking out the orphanage. "And I still haven't been adopted.. maybe its the hair?" She talks to herself... it's not like she has anyone else to talk too._

_She steps onto the playground, and starts climbing up the ladder to the many different slides. _

_A girl named Coal slips and falls onto the ladder, knocking Uke off of it with her. _

_Coal was a tall third grader with black hair and dark eyes._

_"Owwww..." Coal groans._

_"You ok?" Uke asks sitting up._

_"Uh-huh, you...?" Coal sits up too, to take a look at the girl she just fell on. "Your hair is pretty!" She smiles._

_"Yours is too! And I love your outfit!" Uke smiles, then frowns. "...wai a minute, I don't care about stuff like that!"_

_"Neither do I! I mean, c'mon! Girls should have better things to care about!" Coal agrees giggling._

_"Oh yeah, like: Oh. My. God! I broke a nail! Boo-hoo!" She giggles acting like a prissy little girl._

_Coal laughs along with her, "Exactly!"_

**_A start of a buatiful friendship..._**_ Uke thinks happily._

* * *

_Meeting Scarlet:_

_A lone red-headed girl sits alone on the swings. Her name was Scarlet._

_ "Hmm? Is that a new girl I see?" Coal points._

_"Is that a girl new I see?" Uke smiles and looks to where her friend was pointing. _

_With a quick giggle, they're off._

_The kids at school thought of them as weird, so they were all each other had. So a new girl was the perfect opprotunity for a new friend._

_"Hey! Hi!" Uke laughs stopping by Scarlet. "I'm Uke!"_

_"..how come your just sitting her by yourself!" Coal asks throwing her hands up._

_"..." Scarlet stares. "Um... I have no one to play with..."_

_"Play with us!" Uke throws her hands up too._

_"Huh... uh ok..." Scarlet hops off the swing, and quickly learns how to play Uke's and Coal's games._

_Games like, Kill The Chick with The Ball, Climb The Highest, Crap(a card game), and Speeder._

* * *

_Uke goes tomboy..._

_"Uke..." Scarlet stares. "What in hells name are you wearing...?" _

_"What, its my new look!" Uke protests._

_"I think it looks cute!" Coal adds._

_"Yeah! I'm goin for a new look, I'm a 6th grader now!" Uke smirks._

_"WE are 6th graders now!" Scarlet corrects._

_Uke was wearing a lot of black, a spiked neck choker, spiked braclets, and baggy pants that were sagging. _

_"You look like a boy now then ever..." Coal mumbles._

_"What was that?" Uke glares._

_"Nothign! NOTHING!" Coal runs off._

_"NO! You tell me what you said!" Uke chases after._

* * *

Akatsuki base~~~~

_"We should go get her now..." Konan mumbles._

_"Not yet... soon. The portal's broken again." Pein replies rubbing his temples._

_Konan sighs. "I can't believe Momo forgot her..."_

_"Neither can I." Pein replies._

_"Oh yeah, and I know the portals not broken." Konan smirks._

_"..."_

_"Let's go get her!" Konan smiles. "She's ours, dosen't belong in that world! What will she do when her Rinnegan activates?"_

_"IF her Rinnegan activates..."_

_"Suuure."_

* * *

_"It's called Naruto!" Scarlet points at the screen. "The second part is Naruto Shippuden!"_

_"Seems like a cool world..." Uke mumbles._

_"OOOHHHH! What if like the fanfictions, we go to that world!" Coal cheers._

_"That'd be totally awesome!" Uke agrees._

_"And we could meet the Akatsuki!" Scarlet gushes._

_Uke gives a confused stare, "Who?"_

_"We'll explain. They're like, the major bad guys!" Coal clicks on a pic of Itachi... her fav character._

_"Yeah here's anotehr!" Scarlet points to a pic of Deidara._

_"Huh... I guess I need to watch more of this so I'm prepared for the Naruto world!" Uke laughs._

_"EXACTLY!" Both Coal and Scarlet giggle._

* * *

_"RAHAHAHA!" Uke luaghs. "I will RAPE you!" She jokes._

_"AHHH!" Scarlet screams running away._

_"I shall rape her too!" Coal screams chasing after Scarlet._

_They were cosplaying. _

_Uke was Deidara, Coal was Itachi, Scarlet was Tobi._


	18. Strip Dancing!

**A55 : I'm glad you like it so much! I like your story to, the Naruto one! Finish it! Finish it I tell you!**

**carol: Don't worry, this is the only story i have that has gotten this far! I will NEVER stop writing it, wether I have writers block or not! RAWR!**

**cheyanne: I actually have no idea, which is why I'm posting a poll to let the readers deciede!**

**Ok, so I finally got this chater out! My mind isn't stuck anymeor! Now lets go! WOO!**

* * *

I lay on the hammok with Coal and Scarlet, relaxing.

"Why am I always between you two?" I grumble.

"Cause you used to have this thing about being on the side or edge." Scarlet mumbles.

"Oh yeah..." I sigh.

It was a slow day. The loudies were out on a mission, the quiets were either avoiding us or busy, and there were no fangirls, no danger, no ANYTHING anywhere!

"ARGH!" Coal yells sitting up. "I can't TAKE it anymore! I's to damn QUEIT! We are the Trouble Threesome! Not the Quiet Fru-Fru Princesses!"

I lay still as the hammock rocks wildly.

She starts trying to get up, knocking us all off.

We laugh at each other and get untangled.

"Let's go cause some trouble!" Scarlet announces running into the direction of Konoha.

"Well we can't cause trouble looking like this!" I protest. "Cosplay outfits on!"

We run into the house, put on our usual cosplay clothings, and put on OUR cloaks(which made us look a bit to feminine to cosplay correctly).

"Ready girls?" Coal smirks.

"If we have our trouble supplies, then yes. We're ready." I smirk.

"LETS GO!" Scarlet charges out the door, me and Coal running after to keep up.

* * *

We walk camly into the Konoha gates like any other person, awaiting a reaction.

"HEY! You there. Stop where you are!" One Ninja calls out.

"Huh?" I stop and turn to see who stopped us. "Hey there!" I wave, then keep walking, the voice changers were working great.

As you all know, our "usual" cosplay people are Pein, Itachi, and Sasori.

I think two of which are greatly known to Konoha, if not two then one...

"How's your day going?" Coal says in Itachi's voice.

Gotta love them voice changers.

The 2 ninja's standing gaurd stare in shock.

"What? You act like you've never seen someone walk through these gates before..." Scarlet pouts crossing her arms and sticking her lower lip out some.

"Uhhh..." The two people stare.

We continue deeper into Konoha, earning stares from pretty much everyone and anyone who knew who the Akatsuki were.

We just wave and smile like there was nothing wrong.

"Hey look, there's Naruto-kun!" Coal yell-whispers.

"Hmmm? I dare you to go up to him, and kiss him." i giggle.

"Easy." She scoffs in her Itachi voice.

Coal walks right up to Naruto who was enjoying some ramen.

"Hi, Naruto-kun~!" That sounded weird coming from Itachi *not*

"I-I-Itachi..." Naruto stares wide-eyed.

"Is that some way to greet your friends bro?" Coal teases.

"Uhh..." naruto was shocked.

"Oh yeah, and NAruto-kun~?" Coal smiles.

"Uh... yeah... Itachi?"

"I wuv you..." Coal whispers into his ear, then holds his head still, staring deep into his eyes. She kisses him full on the lips, then runs off giggling.

"Uhhh...huhuuuuhhhhhhuuuh?" Naruto stares, drool running our the side of his mouth. "Whaaaa...?"

Me and Scarelt were cracking up in the alleyway.

"What's so funny?" Itachi's voice ring through the air.

"You are Coal!" I giggle.

"Thank yoU!, Thank yoU!" She giggles coming out the shadows.

"OK, it's Scarlet's turn!" Coal smirks.

"What do I gotta do?" Scarlet cracks a weak smile.

"Ya see Sakura over there?" Coal points. "I want you to go over there and kiss her full on the lips, then whisper in her ear sexual things you wanna do to her, then get her into a position that looks like your about to anal rape her!"

"Coal, you have one twisted mind..." I mumble.

"Ah, thank you."

Scarlet shrugs, then walks right up Sakura and kisses her before she can get a word in.

"Wh-What!" She xclaims stepping back.

Scarlet grabs her wrist and starts whispering into her ear.

Sakura's eyes got SOOOOOO big! I thought they were gonna fall out! LMAO!

Scarlet lets her go, and Sakura stumbles back.

Scarlet then jumps onto Sakura's back, and gets her on the ground in puppy dog position, pulling her shorts down to around her ankles. She then hops off and walks away like nothing happened.

Sakura is left on the gorund sputtering and looking her eyes were about to fall out.

And we're in an alley way laughing our asses off.

"Ok Uke! It's your turn!" Coal gets a deranged look on her face. "Pay back time..."

O.o I satre at her a bit scared, "And... what do i... have to do...?"

She smirks, "You have to go up on that stage as Pein, me and Scarlet will provide the music and stuff..."

"Just tell me the damn dare!" I exclaim.

"Ok, ok!" Coal giggles. "You have to go up on that stage as Pein, and do a strip dance for anyone watching, all the way down to your panties."

"WAAAAHHH!" I stare in shock.

"Yep." She gives me a toothy grin.

"I hate you, I hope you know that!" I grumble walking out into the open, all eyes on me.

Whispers goin through: _Hey look! Whoes that! Ay, i think that's PEIN! Oh god, why is pein here AGAIN! SHHH! He's goin on stage!_

I think bitterly, _These people are idiots. Pein's not this short..._

I get on stage and see Coal give me a thumbs up sign.

Womanizer by Britney Spears comes on.

People satre a bit eagerly.

I let out a sigh, _Pein's gonna kill me if he finds out about this..._

I strip to the beat of the music. Earning some yells of appreciation and excitement.

I sigh again as the cloak is left around my waist, and start working on the shirt.

I;m a flat-chested girl, thought to be a boy rite now. It dosen't MATTER... for now...

A few girls cheer with excitement. "WWOOOT! You go boy!"

I blush a deep red, but keep going.

_I'm. Gonna. Die. I'm. Gonna. DIE! _

The shirt gone, so I take the cloak off and work on my pants, when They're half off, I realize something that would definantly get me killed.

Some chicks whistle, one starts a chant, "TAke them off! Take them off! Tak them off!"

I sigh and drop the jeans to my ankles, continuing my dance.

"YEAH! Work it, PEIN!" A chick yells.

She obviously dosen't know Pein... a forgein maybe?

Kicking the jeans away, I finish my dance off.

"Aww, c'mon! Take it off!" Anoher chick yells.

"Yeah, take em off!"

"Take the panties off!"

"They're pink..."

"Only a true man can pull em off! Are you a real man, Shikamaru!"

I giggle, "Sorry folks! But's thats all!"

This voice changer works WAAAAY to good!

"C'mon! Take em off!"

I shrug, grab my things, then walk off the stage.

Scarlet and Coal were cracking up back stage.

"Shut up!" I hiss.

Nothing, just laughter.

"Stop LAUGHING!" I start strangling Coal.

"Heh, that was a nice show there- um... am I interupting something?" A girl walks in.

"NO!" Coal yells. "PEIN'S just trying to kill me!"

"Oh ok, I can understand why... ITACHI!" The girl stares in mock horror.

"Oh so your afraid of him, but not me?" I exclaim.

"Well... I kinda am... but you kinda just did a strip dance for half the village..." The girl mumbles blushing.

"I KINDA did a strip dance, or i DID a strip dance?" I start getting dressed.

"you did a strip dance!" The girl squeals and runs away.

Scarlet finishes her giggle-fit, "So... i think we should leave now before they call the auothorities..."

"Great idea, SASORI." I smirk as her face heats up.

We walk out fully dressed... but we forgot to turn the voice changers off.

* * *

"HI EVERYONE! We're back!" I wave.

We trashed Konoha good! Toilet paper, tooth paste, kecthup filled water-balloons. Heh. I hope they enjoyed that strip dance, cause that's the last they're getting!

"What's with your voice, un?" Deidara looks to me.

"Huh? Oh, they're voice changers!" I click mine off.

"That was SOOO awesome! Konoha's a wreck!" Scarlet cheers in Sasori's voice before clicking it into the off position.

"What'd you guys do...?" Sasuke asks.

"Heh, you don't wanna know." Coal teases clicking ehr voice changer off.

"OHH! Can Tobi come next time!"

I snicker, I just could not hold it in, "PFFFTTT! HAHAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

Coal and Scarlet start laughing extremly loud next to me.

Tobi stares at us confused.

"Oh man. I just had to say that!" I giggle walking off.

"I'm glad you did!" Coal agrees.

* * *

**The next day~~~~**

O.o TT^TT

He found out...

I was sitting on the couch with Deidara and the Uchiha's. Actually, I was between them to keep them from fighting.

Pein walked in glaring daggers.. if looks could kill.

Akemi was trailing behind him, like he usually does to either him or me. Sometimes Konan.

"I'm. Gonna. Kill. You." He growls.

"For what?" I ask innocently.

He tosses today's newspaper on the coffee table, it was in FULL COLOR... for once.

And there I am on the FRONT COVER hands up, in only my pink panties.

The Headline? **_PEIN! ...The strip dancer?_**

"Uhm... I have no idea who that is?" I shrink back.

Some coments I picked out were: _Sexy! A great dancer! A REAL man! Is a softy..._

I jump off the couch and dash past him out the house... base... cave. whatever!

He, of course, chases after.

"NO! WAIT! I'm telling you it wasn't my fault!" I yell running into the forest.

I'm screwed.

And so are Coal and Scarlet.

He practically choked me half to death, then left me alone in the forest, who knows where?

"Never again..." I grumble.


	19. Help! Me! Now!

**Ok people, I'm a bit stuck for the next chapter. I can not UPDATE until you guys tell me what you want to HAPPEN.**

**So please. PM me, take the poll on my account, give me ideas on how Uke should find out that Pein's her dad. **

**You know I'm stuck for a chapter when I already started working on another, but I can't update until you guys help me out!**

**Thank you, and hope to see you soon.**


	20. Surprise

**OK peoples! Thanks to the two whi helped: carol(who dosen't have an account as far as i know) and SandrileneFaToren13! My BFF! Thank you SOOOOO much for the ideas!**

**Now, we shall CONTINUE! **

* * *

I sit boredly on the couch.

"I'm so bored..." I complain. "Soooooooo booooored!"

"Shut up, Uke." Itachi rolls his eyes.

I pop his head, "Don't roll your damn eyes at me!"

He rolls his eyes again anyway, "Someones-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I glare daggers.

He gives me a smirk.

"AHHH! FREAKING UCHIHA!" I scream stomping out the room, Itachi laughing behind me.

I go pout in my room, cause this quiet and calmness is pissing me off... that sounds odd.

"Uke, stop pouting." Coal enters my room.

"Coal, stop entering my room without knocking first." I snap back.

She just shrugs and plops onto my bed.

"Why're you in here anyways?" I question laying back.

"Scarlet's taking care of the children-"

"Monsters." I correct.

"And most of the members are in a meeting." She finishes ignoring my remark.

"Well, I'm gonna go eaves drop." I hop off the bed and leaving the room, looking for Pein's chakra signiture.

I crack the door open, and immediatly hear voices.

"So why'd you name her Katana?"

"Cause it had a nice sound to it at the time."

"Poor Momo..."

"He deserved it." A female voice... wonder who THAT was?

"Whoes Momo, un?"

"Guy who died after leaving Uke in that world."

_Hey wait, how am I in this conversation? I thought they were talking about that Katana chick again! _

I back away before i get a headache thinking about it.

"Hm, I wonder what THAT was all about..." I shrug falling on the couch, falling asleep quickly.

* * *

"Uke."

"Mmmm... go away..." I mumble turning over. "I sleepin..."

"Get up Uke." I sense annoyance in the Persons voice.

"Nu. I said I'm sleeping."

Everything goes silent for about 5 seconds, before I'm knocked off the couch and into the coffee table.

"AHHHH! You B*TCH THAT HURTED!" I scream shooting up.

Without even thinking, I jump onto the person, choking them with all my strength.

Well of course since I'm in a house full of Akatsuki, they choke me back.

"I. Will. Kill. YOU!" I scream loosing my grip.

I fall to the floor.

"OOWWWW!" I hold my had as the lamp falls on it.

"Uke... your waaaay to clumsy." Pein shrugs.

"Ya know what, your to NOT clumsy!" I sit on the ground, holding my head tight.

"Come eat dinner."

"Fix my head."

"Get up then." He rolls his eyes.

"Fix my head first." I say stuburnly.

"Then get the stuff."

"FIX MY DAMNED HEAD!" I yell at him.

He sighs and gets the box down, wrapping my head up quickly.

"Your just like your mother..." He sighs again.

"What." I shoot my head up and stare at him.

"..." He gets up and starts walking away.

"HEY! Get back here!" I grab his arm and pull... which failed. "How do you know my mom!"

"Hm."

"Don't 'Hm' me!" I complain. "How do you know my mom!"

Still no answer, he just keeps walking.

"PEIN!" I tackle him to the ground. "YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION, DAMN YOU!"

Everything suddenly goes black.

Boy, do I hate ninja... sometimes.

* * *

_Eh? Who in hells name is that, and why am I dreaming about Pein? _

_..._

_A cute little carrot topped girl sleeps on the couch, hugging a blanket, and curled into a ball. _

_"Get up, Katana." Pein crosses his arms. _

_"I don't wanna get up. I'm sleeping." The girl complains. _

_Theres that Katana chick again. _

_It was kinda like what just happened a few seconds ago with me and Pein. _

_"OWWW!" The girl screams as she hits her head on the side table. _

_"Whats goin on in here?" Konan walks into the room. _

_"Daddy hurt me!" The girl runs behind her mom. _

_"Lies. You hurt yourself." Pein counters. _

_"Nu-uh! You pushed me off the couch!" The girl complains. _

_HEY! How did Konan make her way into my dream! ...THis is sooooo weird. _

_"To wake you up." Pein shrugs. "I was trying to wake you up nicely, but that didn't work." _

_"Pein, she's 5. She's not gonna wake up that easily." Konan adds. _

_"She sleeps all day." Pein counters. _

_"She has long days, espicially with you." _

_"And cause you let her stay up all night." Pein crosses his arms. _

_"Daddy." The girl waves her hands wanting attention. _

_"Then you try putting her to sleep!" _

_"Mum!" _

_"Fine, I will." _

_"HEY!" The girl yells. "Stop fighting." _

_The two exchange a glance. _

_"I swear, thats not normal for a 5 year old." Pein shakes his head walking away. _

_"Whats an uke?" Katana changes the subject. _

_"..." _

_"And whoes the Uke here?" The girl adds. _

_The parents stare at the little girl. _

_"Well, i wish my name was Uke. It sounds fancy." _

_HEEEYYYY! THATS MYYY NAME!_

_Katana leaves the two stunned parents. _

_"Great, our kid wants to be named after Yaoi." Pein states sarcastically, rolling his eyes. _

_"Shut up, Pein... it could be in Yuri too." Konan rolls her eyes back. _

_Hey! THAT CHICK STOLE MY NAME! ...wait, remember brain? That meeting they were having about me! ...hmm... and that would explain my eyes turning grey... AHHH! BRAIN THAT HURTS! ...ok, yeah? ...uh-huh... uh-huh... Brain... ARE YOU SERIOUS! You mean...? _

* * *

I suddenly wake up.

"DAMNIT!" I scream. "I wasn't spose to wake up yet! I just forgot half those thoughts! ...DAAAAAAMNNNIIIIIT!"

"Uke, why're you screaming?" Akemi sits up half awake.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"I couldn't sleep." He shrugs.

"Uh...huh..." I get up. "Well I'll be right back."

I get up and head to the bathroom to brush out my hair and change my bandages.

Removing my hair from my eyes, I pause, then scream in shock.

"Uke, why're you screaming?" Pein ask walking by the open bathroom door.

"Eh, no reason." I shrug it off and continue brushing my hair out.

"Don' lie to me, Uke."

"Then don't lie to ME." I glance at him. "How dare you knock me out!"

"Well you started it." He walks off.

"No you did!" I jam the brush into my hair annoyed, then wince in pain as it hits the scars.

I re-wrap my head then go to bed thinking REALLY hard.

Oh yeah, I bet I'm confusing you? Ne. Well, I screamed cause well... i was surprised. Cause I had Rinnegan.


	21. Confrontation

I wake up in the morning, surronded by warm bodies... 5 actually. Can you guess whoes they are?

I'll tell you: Coal, Mitzumi, Scarlet, Mizu, and Akemi.

"Why is everyone in MY bed?" I exclaim. "And how in hells name did you all fit?"

I sit up annoyed.

"Cause we found that your room is warmer than the others." Coal answers yawning.

"IT'S SUMMER!" I exclaim.

"And we're also by the water." Scarlet rises. "It makes a breeze..."

"Whatever, just get the hell out my bed." I shove the 3 monsters out my bed, then get out myself. "Now its all sweaty."

"Whoes fault is that?" Mitzumi teases with a yawn.

"Yours." I leave the room to take a shower in the locker room... haven't had one of those in awhile!

But today, pretty much everyone was gone, except for us NON ninja.

I don't trust Hidan when I'm in the shower...

So anyways, I got in, but didn't come out for a looooong time, cause I was thinking!

_Ok, so I have Rinnegan eyes... HOLY CRAP! THE FANFICTIONS ARE TRUE! PeinxKonan... _I think to myself, kinda like staring at the wall.

"I told ya she'd be in here." Akemi announces as hmi and a few other people enter.

I sigh quietly to myself, still lost in my thoughts.

Scarlet starts, "Akemi, you shouldn't-"

To late, outta instinct, I kick my foot out full power.

Akemi hits the wall across from me.

"AHHH! UKE THAT HURTED!" He screams holding his head.

"Well ya shouldn't have snuck up on me like that!" I point out. "I thought you were one of the Akatsuki!"

"They're all GONE remember!"

"Ya still snuck up on me." I shrug turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around myself.

* * *

I hated it when pretty much all the members ditched us at the base! We're helpful! ...aren't we?

So anyways, I was just sitting on the couch, BORED outta my fucking MIND.

Everyone left me!

Coal, Scarlet, and the kids went to the park without me!

...Trapazoids! **[A/N: A trapazoid is a new word me and my friends came up with! It means slutty vagina.]**

*sigh* I stare boredly at the TV, waiting for everyone to come back.

Thats when I caught Pein walking through the living room.

"Pein." I simply say.

He just ignores me.

I stand up, "PEIN."

Still nothing.

I run up and jump on his back, "DADDY!"

He stumbles forward, then glances at me with a smirk,"So you finally figured it out?"

"Yesssss..."

He drops me on the couch and sits next to me, "What tipped you off?"

"Ow, and first it was me eaves dropping on you guys conversation... again." I shrug. "But what made me supicious was some weird flashback thingy an dyou metioning my mom,"

"Is that all?" He stares at me with slight intrest.

"Oh yeah, and I got Rinnegan." I push my hair out my eyes for the third time today... damn hair was getting in my eyes!

"Oh really?"

"Yep."

"Hm, Konan was right." He suddenly disapears.

"EH! You seriously need to stop doing that." I stand up and poof away too.

* * *

After 3 tries, I end up in Konan's room.

"Took you long enough." Pein rolls his eyes with a teasing smirk.

"I got lost!" I protest. "Oh yeah, and ya want some ramen?"

I hold up a to-go package from Ichiraku's.

He mouths the word "wow" at me.

"Shut up." I pout.


	22. cursed as a seven year old

**I'm reading WAAAAAY to many Akatuski fanfictions! ...ah well. Enjoy! Please tell me if someone is OOC, or if they don't show up enough! **

* * *

"NuuU!" I yell. "Akemi that was MINE!"

He just laughs as he finishes MY ramen.

"DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME!" I tackle him to the ground, then get pulled off by Sasuke and Coal.

Everyone(and I mean everyone this time) was relaxing in the living room, when something comes crashing into the living room window.

Snoke fills the room, so does coughing.

Blackness suddenly surronds me... **[A/N: My cuzin jus HAD to point out that it sounded racist!] **

* * *

There's a loud groan.

And for once, I wasn't to slow getting up.

I shoot up into the sitting position... or at least tried. Akemi was on me... WHY THE HELL IS HE SO BIG!

I take one look at the only person I could see: The Uchiha's.

I SCREAM, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE UCHIHA'S! ...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME!"

Everyone was now wide awake with wide eyed stares.

Everyone in this room was SEVEN YEARS OLD... why didn't the little kids age?

"Whoes the blonde chick?" Hidan questions.

I start giggling, "I don't think *hahah!* That's a chick!"

It wasn't, and HE was fuming, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, UN!"

I try and gain calmness, but fail. "What happened here? Why're we all *giggle* seven?"

"Probaly that thing that was thrown through the window..." Pein grumbles.

My eyes wander to Sasori who looked oretty pissed.

"O-M-G! YOU LOOK CUTER AS A KID THEN THE ANIME PUT IT!" I squeal putting him in a death hug.

He tries to claw his way out... I feel so unloved.

I drop him and plop back down on the couch to join the awkward silence whiloe everyone stared at themselves and each other.

* * *

**~~~(1 week later)~~~~**"OWW!" I rub my head. I had just smacked into a tree from Pein throwing me.

We were training btw... Me, Pein, and Itachi.

Pein facepalms, "I can't belive she's my daughter..."

"What's that spose to mean!" I yell back at him. "Ok, lets try this again..."

I charge at Pein, and throw a few punches, of which he easily dodges. A kick to the chest, and then I realize I forgot about Itachi. I again hit that same tree, the breath knocked outta me.

"Fuuuckkkk..." I huff getting on my feet again.

I charge at Itachi this time, keeping Pein in my line of sight.

Pein suddenly charges at me, I swing around with a round-house kick.

I'm thrown up into the air, high. I see a second Pein(Sein I think) coming at me from the top.

_Crap, this is gonna hurt... _I think as the on-coming punch comes.

Suddenly, something tackles the Sein and another something catches me.

There, landing next to me, were 2 of my paths: Suke and Kuke.

I had yet realized how to summon these paths.

"Where'd you get those tw from?" Pein questions, trying to look all authority and dad-like... even in a 7 year olds body.

"Eh, I stopped by a grave yard." I shrug.

The fight starts again, I bit more easier, Pein was holding his own, and almost had me beat... until my two paths and I gav ehim a round house kick, sending him into a tree.

It explodes into little tree pieces! **[A/N: TREE BABIES!]**

I stand stunned, then start cheering to myself as Itachi goes to check on Pein.

I pause in my victory dance and zoom over to Pein, "You ok?"

He nods rubbing his head, "Your strong for a 7 year old."

"Back to you." I smirk and pull him up on his feet. "...YES! FOR ONCE I'M TALLER THAN SOMEONE!"

"You weren't taller than me yesterday." He points out. "So I think the potion may be wearing off on you."

"Way to kill my mood." I pout.

* * *

**SORRY IT'S SHORT! ...AGAIN!**


	23. we found a cure, but now we're 14

**Heeeeey, thanks for being patient with me! I'm finally getting this one up! I'm actually thinking about making a sequal! O3O What do you guys think about that? I've already started writing it... but I need a title... -_- **

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews! And yes, if you want an OC, either message me or make a review.**

_**Inner one.**_

_Inner two_

**Inner three**

* * *

_BLAM! _

"AHHH!"

_THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!_

"Son of a- SHIT!"

_CRASH!_

"Did it work!" I call down the steps to Deidara.

"..." I just glares at me.

Why don't we backtrack a few minutes ago?

I was sitting in Sasori's room while he tried and figured out the cure.

"The number on your head..." He points. "Its bigger."

"Hmm? And how did it get that way?" I question.

"You tell me, what've you done today."

"I ate some ramen, chased after Akemi, and trained with Pein and Itachi." I huff.

He pauses for a moment before knocking me off the table.

"OW!" I rub my head. "What was THAT all about!"

"I think I just found the cure..." He mumbles pulling me up.

"Which is?"

* * *

I run to the stairs to see Deidara heading up them.

I jump onto him.

"AHH!"

_BLAM!_

Knocking us both over.

_THUMP THUMP THUMP!_

"Son of a- Shit!"

The vase fell on Dei's head.

_CRASH! _

"Did it work!" I stare at the number on his head, slowly changing. "YEAH! IT WORKED!"

"What the heck, un?" Deidara glares at me.

"Sasori told me the cure was pain," I roll over and stand up quickly, then run to the living room.

"What was that?" Mizu questions.

"I.. Sasori found the cure!" I explain.

"Which is?" Itachi looks up.

"This!" I throw a vase at Hidan's head.

_SMASH!_

A stream of curse words thrown at me.

"Pain, is the cure." I smirk walking to the couch, but I trip on the coffee table and land face first on the floor.

"Owww." I groan.

"Uke, your almost your same age now..." Sasuke points out.

"YES!" I cheer sitting up, but just end up banging my head on that same coffee table.

"GAAAHHH! YOU STUPID TABLE!" I yell.

"Its not the table's fault you hit it." Kisame points out.

"Ah, shut up," I sit up more carefully this time.

"Looks like we're gonna have to be like Uke for awhile." Coal smirks.

"What's THAT spose to mean!" I pout.

**_It means they're gonna be clumsy, dumbie. _**

_Mean. _

**_Your point exactly? I'm your mean inner. _**

_SHUT UP!_

I look around to see everyone was throwing things at each other.

_I should really stop being lost in my thoughts..._

**_THEN STOP THINKING TO YOURSELF!_**

_DON'T YELL AT ME!_

**_I JUST DID!_**

_AHHH! NOW I GOTTA HEADACHE CAUSE OF YOU!_

**_Look out!_**

_huh?_

I duck down in time as a TOASTER comes flying outta nowhere.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS THROWING TOASTERS!" I scream, interupting there little play thing.

"..." I'm stared at by pretty much everyone.

I pick up the toaster and throw it at Hidan.

It was on again.

I was out.

I wander around until i come to Pein's room, he was sleeping.

I stare for a minute, the number on his head was lower than everyones.

_To lazy to wake him up, aren't ya?_

_Gah! Stop nagging me!_

_Nah, I don't think I will. _

_Freaking annoying inners... intruding my mind. _

I push Pein over and scoot in next to him.

* * *

"UKEEE!"

Crap, Tobi's back.

I forgot to mention this, buuut... he was on a mission for the past 3-4 days.

"UUKKKEEE! THERE YOU ARE!"

I'm suddenly landed on.

I scream in surprise and fall out the bed.

_So much for sleep..._

I hear a thump from the other side of the bed, and the lamp falls over.

"Oops." Tobi mumbles backing out the room.

I start working on getting out the blankets.

"Why were you sleeping with me?" Pein asks getting back onto the bed.

I climb on too, "First off: That sounds wrong, second: your members are throwing toasters at each other."

"Do I even wanna know why?"

"Its cause the cure is pain, and well... i guess throwing toasters worked for them." I shrug going back under the blankets. "Your 10 now by the way."

"Great, I'm guessing everyone else is almost the same age again."

"I don't know, I walked out on them..." I lay down and close my eyes.

"I swear, you're the laziest person I have yet to seen... and your somehow related to me."

"Uncalled for..." I mumble.

* * *

We are now back to normal!

...sorta...

Everyones stuck at 14 years old, so I'm guessing they gotta let the years pass through to get older.

"This fucking sucks!" Kakuzu growls.

"Not for us! Now its even!" I giggle.

"Whats even, un?"

"RAAWWWRRR!" I tackle said blonde to the ground, then pin him on his back. "Thats how its even!"

"Bitch, un."


	24. GOOD BYE

**OK guys, this is the FINAL chapter! Not really! It's just the last chapter for this story! I'm making a sequal! Ok? OK! Poor Uke and friends... **

**Uke: YAY! I sequal!**

**Coal: Hahah, yeah!**

**Akatsuki: *groan* **

**Tobi: YAY! **

**Uke: And there will be more- **

**Scarlet: TOBI!**

**Uke: Uh, yeah sure...**

* * *

Another month has past, an dnothing EXCITING has happened yet!

"God. why is it so quiet?" Scarlet exclaims.

"I don't know..." I shrug.

There's suddenly a large explosion, and a loud scream.

I shoot up happy for some excitement.

"You two, c'mon." Sasuke instructs.

"Uh, what?" I question.

"Not now, uke!" He grabs my arms and jerks me to he backroom with the portal in it.

"Whats goin on?" Coal asks, looking a bit singed.

"Its time for you 3 to go." Kisame activates the portal.

"But I don't wanna go..." Coal protests.

"You don't really have a choice at this point." Sasuke grumbles.

"Bu-" I start, then get silenced buy getting shoved head-first into the portal.

* * *

**SORRY ITS SHORT! BUT I'M NOT REALLY SPOSE TO BE PON THE COMPUTER RITE NOW! SOOOO SORRY! BUT I'M BUSY WORKING ON THE SEQUAL! I CAME UP WITH A TITLE:**

Kill me now, or kill me not

KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR IT


	25. Bonus chapter!

**Uke: *Cheers* whoes ready for the sequal!**

**Akatsuki: *weak* yaayyyy...**

**Scarlet: Party poopers. **

**Coal: Don;t be like that guys!**

**Uke: *looks at reviews* NO! NO romance! No! AHH IT BURNS! **

**?: *walks in* **

**Uke: Who the hell are you? **

**?: You'll find out soon enough**

**Uke: WTF? **

**Akemi: I KNOW WHO IT IS!**

**Uke: Wow you can actually reach the computer? **

**Akemi: -_-**

**Uke: Tell me!**

**Akemi: No. **

**Sean: Oh hey, Uke. *sneaky grin* **

**Uke: Who let him in? **

**Pein: He's in the sequal smartass**

**Uke: Really? What does he do? **

**Pein: HINT: He ruins your birthday**

**Uke: ...again? **

**Everyone: O.O '''**

**Uke: Forget I said that. **

_**Shen walks in **_

**Shen: Hey Uke and friends. **

**Uke: And who're you? **

**Shen: Your BF **

**Uke: *blush* **

**Hidan, Deidara, and Scarlet: *singing* Uke and Shen siting in a tree! DOing something they shouldn't be! **

**Uke: SHut up! **

**Hida-Dei-Scar: Starts with a S ends with an X! **

**Uke: STFU! **

**Hidan-Dei-Scar: O-M-G it must be **

**Uke: CUT IT OUT!  
**

**Shen: *laughs***

**Tentacle Lady: You little brat. **

**Uke: *stares* **

**Lobster claw guy: wtf are you staring at? **

**Shen: ( )( ) boobs**

**Uke: -_-**

**Sean: OwO**

**Uke: Get out Sean**

**Sean: You can't make me. **

**Coal: Yes we can! **

**Hidan: Fagget**

**Mitzumi: Dude, you spelled it wrong! **

**Mizu: Its: F-A-G-G-O-T **

**Scarlet: How do my two children know how to spell curse words. **

**Uke: Hidan taught them. **

**Scarlet: *glares* **

**Itachi: Whats with all the people in the sequal? **

**Naruto: Cause it's epic!**

**Naruto+uKE: BELIEVE IT!**

**Sasuke: Idiots**

**Itachi: Ikr?**

**Uke: I know you are**

**Naruto: But what am I? **

**Deidara: Dumbases, un **

**Uke: DON'T PAIR ME WITH THAT EVIL BLONDE WITH AIDS!**

**Everyone: O.O **

**Dei: O.v**

**Uke: . Why does Dei get his own emtocon? Same with Itachi and Pein... I WANT ONE! **

**Itachi: I don't have one. **

**Scarlet: Yeah, you do: O/.\O**

**Itachi: -/.\- wow**

**Fangirls: ATTCK!**

**Uke: NO YET! WE HAVEN"T STARTED!**

**...**

**Uke: I found my emotocon!: VOVOV **

**Naruto: Whats Pein's? **

**Uke: :: - Its Pein! XD**

**Pein: Wow, what is wrong with your world? **

**Uke: we're bored. **

**Random guy: LOOK! Its the 3 mousy-whores! **

**SCarlet: FUCK OFF! **

**Random guy: What about the 20 dollar blow-jobs? **

**Coal: Thats someone else damnit! Now go away! **

**Uke: Hope your looking forward to the sequal! It includes: **

**Deidara: Danger, un**

**Pein: Perverted-ness**

**Sasori: Trouble**

**Tobi: explosions + tragedies**

**Konan: Love**

**Uke: EWW! *looks above* **

**Itachi: Secrets**

**Kisame: Lies **

**Sasuke: Team Taka **

**Karin: Near death experinces **

**Suigetsu: Fights**

**Jugo: boobs ( . )( . ) **

**Coal: *looks up* wow **

**The 3 girls: ANd much much more!**


End file.
